


Summertime Sadness

by whatthefun



Series: Summertime Sadness [1]
Category: Bandom, Bring Me The Horizon, You Me At Six
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:52:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2892710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthefun/pseuds/whatthefun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh is a troublemaker. He drinks, smokes, parties every weekend and stays away from home for days. Finally his parents have had enough and they send him to his grandparents' house to spend his summer there. Of course he's not excited, as he is not allowed to take his phone or computer, so he won't be able to contact his friends and boyfriend for two months. But then he meets Oli and everything is about to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Josh.

„So, why exactly am I going to grandma again? “

I asked my mum for what felt like the thousandth time. It probably was though. Since my mother broke the news to me that I was going to spend summer break at my grandma’s somewhere in the North, apart from all my friends, from my best friend Max, from my boyfriend Dan, from everybody I loved, I never really stopped complaining.

“You know why, Josh. It’s not like I didn’t already tell you” Mum sighed.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that I understand it or even like it for that matter” I muttered, looking back across the tracks of the station we’ve been waiting at for the past fifteen minutes. As always the train was late and both I and my mum started to get annoyed.

“God, Josh, you don’t need to fucking understand! Just fucking deal with the fact that you’ve been acting like a piece of shit lately and stop being a whiny little bitch!”

My eyes grew wide at my mother’s sudden outburst. She hardly ever got loud and she basically never swore, so you could definitely tell that she was pissed. And she was right about me being a troublemaker. Since I started being friends with the “cool” kids at school, which consisted of Chris, Matt, my best friend Max and, of course, my boyfriend Dan, I hardly ever stayed out of trouble. My grades got worse every day and by now I was failing pretty much every class. I was sassy and spoke back to the teachers and already had so many detentions that I stopped counting at some point. I partied every weekend and sometimes I didn't even bother to come home for days. Which was why we were at the train station, waiting for the train to the end of the world so I could spend my summer at my grandparents’ and hopefully “get some manners”, as my dad put it. By that he meant I had to live -or rather survive- eight weeks at the small village without my phone or the Internet. Eight weeks without connection to the civilized world, without contact to Max and especially Dan. I know, I sound really possessive right now, but I really liked Dan, although we’ve only been dating for like a month. I was basically going through hell and there was nothing I could do about it.

Another fifteen minutes later and my train finally arrived. I said my goodbyes to my mum and hugged her briefly, before picking up my large duffle bag and my backpack and getting onto the train. After finding a free seat I sat down and sighed. I wished those six weeks would already be over, since they’re only going to be awful, and I was on my way back home. But my wishes were never granted, so I guess I just had to go through with it. It was my fault after all, though a nice little talk with my family would have been enough to get me back on track, I didn’t need drastic measurements like spending my summer holiday in a fucking hick town in the North. I sighed again, pulled my iPod out of my backpack and started listening to Pierce the Veil while staring out of the window and waiting for the summer to already be over.

~~~

Three hours later I finally arrived at my destination. It was getting late and I was really tired from the journey and couldn’t wait to go to bed. Unfortunately my grandma was nowhere in sight when I left the train, so I just passed through the tiny station hall and took a seat on one of the benches outside, waiting for my grandma to pick me up.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard a car honking and looked up to find my grandparents pulling up next to me. Grandma quickly got out of their old Honda Civic, running towards me and embracing me in a bone breaking hug.

“There’s my little Joshie! Oh how I’ve missed you, you hardly ever visit your old grandma anymore. And how big you are, looking all like a grown up man!” She gushed, smiling widely at me.

“Come on Amy, leave the poor boy alone! Don’t you see how tired he is from the long travel?” Grandpa chimed in before pulling grandma away from me and pulling me in for a bro hug. “Good to see you again, Joshua. And your grandma’s right; you should come and visit us more often”

Letting out an exasperated sigh I said “Well, I’d see you more often, if you didn’t live so far away. Three hours of sitting on a train is pretty exhausting. By the way, can we go home now? I could really use a shower and a nap”

With that I picked up my bags and started to walk towards the car, putting my stuff in the trunk and sitting in the back seat. My grandparents followed suit and grandpa started the car, driving to their house. We passed the small grocery store and the only bar in town on our way there, accompanied by little houses with little gardens and little white fences and God it really looked all the same and everything was so fucking tiny compared to London. I sighed again, resting my head on the window, staring out at the boring scene. A while later we finally arrived, my grandparents’ house looking exactly like the other houses, red brick walls with white windows, a little porch in the front, surrounded by a garden and perfectly bounded by a white wooden fence. I was already sick of all the perfectness, so I quickly got out, grabbing my stuff and following my grandparents inside.

Their house looked exactly like I remembered it. Next to the door on the left was a small coatrack, next to it the entrance to the kitchen. Straight across was the living room, combined with the dining room and an open doorway to the kitchen. The couch’s back was facing us, so that you could look out the windows with the view over the back porch and garden when you were sitting on the couch. To my right were the stairs that led to the first floor where the bed- and bathrooms were situated.

“Josh, it’s already five, so why don’t you go upstairs to settle in and take said shower while I prepare dinner?” Grandma said, already on her way to the kitchen. I just nodded, slipping out of my shoes and making my way upstairs.

My room was the first to the right. It had a king-sized bed on the right, the headboard facing the wall. Right across from me under the huge window was a desk that still had some of my papers on it. Probably old lyrics I wrote when I couldn’t go to sleep. Opposite my bed was the door to my ensuite bathroom, surrounded by a big wardrobe and a dresser that held a TV as well as a DVD player and a Playstation. The walls were still littered with various posters and a few of my belongings were scattered around. It actually looked like I lived here, even though I haven’t been in this room for almost two years. When I was younger I used to visit my grandparents more often, especially over the summer. Back then there lived a couple of kids my age in the neighborhood, so I had people to hang out with or go swimming in the nearby lake. Now they all graduated and went to school in Sheffield, which was about an hour from here, leaving me as the only teenager amongst a ton of old people, the youngest probably being forty.

I sighed again and began unpacking, putting my clothes in the wardrobe and my iPod on the nightstand next to my bed. After I finished I went to the bathroom, turning on the shower and stripping down my clothes while I waited for the water to heat up. Stepping under the spray I immediately relaxed, leaning back against the tiled wall. My situation really sucked. Like, why would my parents think sending me to spend two months in the middle of nowhere between half dead people would help me or change my behavior?! I mean seriously?! The only thing I can learn here is how to help oldies across the street and how to clean a denture properly. And if they thought this would take me away from my friends they were completely wrong. Max has been my best friend since primary school, we were totally inseparable. And I don’t even want to think about breaking up with Dan. With Matt and Chris we were the gang, we were unbreakable, immortal and nobody could do shit about it.

“Hey, Joshua, are you done?! Dinner is ready!”

That was my grandpa. He’ll never learn that I prefer ‘Josh’ over ‘Joshua’. Another thing I’ll have to deal with this summer.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” I shouted back, turning off the water and getting dressed quickly. I dried my hair with a towel without actually drying it off, it was too stupid for that. Stupid hair. Stupid mum and dad. Stupid teachers, giving me detentions just because I was a little late for class. Stupid grandparents for living so fucking far from London in a fucking hick town with nothing to do. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I angrily kicked the counter under the sink, directly cursing under my breath because _fuck_ I just hit my toe and it really fucking hurt.

“Joshua, are you coming or what?!”

“Yes, fucking yes, I’m coming, god fucking dammit!”

Ok maybe that was uncalled for but I was just really fucking pissed at pretty much everything right now. I made my way downstairs, my grandparents already awaiting me at the kitchen table.

“Joshua, that tone is really not wanted in our house, you got that?” My grandpa scolded me and I tried my best not to roll my eyes.

“Yes, pa, ‘m sorry” I muttered, finally sitting down and digging into the meal. Spaghetti with meatballs. I have to admit my grandma is a really, really good cook. The best actually. We ate in silence for a few minutes before the questions I was waiting for came. Not really, but I knew they  
were coming.

“So, how old are you now? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you”

“It’s only been a year grandma. And I’m seventeen now”

“Oh my, already seventeen? Wait, so you’re turning eighteen while you’re here?”

Well, that was a fact I didn’t even notice. Great so now I’m also turning eighteen without my friends. I was actually hoping for birthday sex but I guess I won’t be getting any.

“Er, yes, I guess. It’s no big deal though, I don’t want you guys to worry about a big party or anything.”

“Well, if you don’t want a party, we won’t have one.” Grandpa said, the first thing he said the whole evening besides scolding me.

“So, any girl or guy back in London that caught your eye lately?” I could pretty much hear the smirk on ma’s face; I didn’t even need to look at her. They knew about me being bi and never had a problem with it, just like the rest of my family they were very accepting and I was pretty happy about that. I still couldn’t fight the blush that crept on my face though, I’m usually not one to gush about his boy- or girlfriend.

“Yeah, actually, there is one. His name is Dan”

“Aww, Joshie found himself a boyfriend! Tell me everything!”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, sometimes grandma was like a teenage girl crushing with her best friend on the cute boys in class.

“Well, he’s a few months younger than me and we’ve been together for about a month”

“Is he good looking?”

“He’s fucking hot. And an awesome fuck”

“Joshua, language” Pa scolded once again but grandma brushed him off.

“C’mon John, we used to say the same things about each other when we were younger” She winked at me.

“Eww, no, gross, old people sex!” I made a gagging noise, making my grandparents laugh.

“You’ll be just as old as we are in a couple years”

“No way, old man, I’ll never be as old and wrinkly as you are” I said jokingly.

Dinner went on in the same manner, leaving us all choking on our food from laughing so hard. When we finished I helped carry the dishes into the kitchen setting them into the sink.

“You want me to help you clean?” I asked, I may be a fuck up but at least I’m polite.

“Nah, it’s fine, go upstairs and try the new Playstation and TV we got you” Ma said before kissing me on the cheek and clapping my ass slightly to make me leave.

“Alright then, I guess I see you tomorrow. Good night”

“Night, Josh”

I went back to my room, suddenly feeling very tired. So I undressed myself, falling face first onto my bed, which was just as comfortable as I had remembered, snuggling under the blankets and quickly drifting off to a deep sleep.


	2. Josh.

I woke up to rays of sunshine flowing through the blinds in front of my window. They made the floating dust in my room look like tiny fairies flying around, thinking about nonsense to do. Alright, that sounded really sappy. I actually planned on staying in bed a while longer but the faint smell of pancakes or waffles reached my nose. I got up rather quickly, cursing under my breath about the morning dizziness, rubbing my eyes in a feeble attempt to wake up. Stumbling into the bathroom I almost knocked myself out on the overhead cabinet over the sink before I finally made it to the toilet, relieving myself. God that felt really good. I pulled on some sweats and a shirt, covering my bare torso and legs, making my way downstairs, following the marvelous smell of breakfast.

Ma was standing in the kitchen, baking more pancakes in a fat oozing pan, a plate with a healthy stack of already cooked pancakes next to her. Pa sat on the kitchen table, reading the newspaper while sipping on a cup of coffee and eating some breakfast rolls. He was the first to look up when I entered.

“Good morning Joshua!”

“Morning pa, morning ma” I said, pressing a quick kiss to ma’s cheek.

“G’morning Josh! I hope you’re hungry, cause there’s a ton of pancakes to eat!” Ma was obviously in a good mood.

I just grabbed the plate, making my way over to the table, sitting down across from grandpa. I poured a good amount of syrup over the pancakes before I was finally able to dig in. And that I did. Ma should have been a cook when she was young because seriously, it felt like I was eating heaven.

“Josh, John and I will be driving out of town today to meet some old friends. I don’t think it’ll be that interesting for you, so I guess it’d be better if you stayed here. That okay for you?”

“Er, yeah, I guess, I mean I don’t have much of a choice, now do I?”

“Well, you _could_ join us”

“Yeah and be bored to death, no thanks”

"Alright then, we better get going. We’ll be back later tonight around six and we’ll bring dinner. Have fun!”

With that they left and shortly after I could hear the car engine roaring and them pulling out of the driveway. [i]Have fun[/i]. Haha, very funny. I’m laughing my ass off. How was I supposed to have fun when there’s absolutely nothing to do?! I finished breakfast and made my way upstairs once again, dropping onto the bed, staring at the white ceiling. I could watch TV, but there won’t be anything interesting on. I could play PlayStation, but where’s the fun in playing alone? The weather was actually pretty nice for British circumstances so maybe taking a walk wouldn’t be a bad idea? No, definitely not. I quickly changed into a pair of skinnies and a different shirt, grabbing a hoodie and my iPod.

Stuffing my iPod in my pocket and the earphones in my ears I left the house, turning left, away from the town. If you walked that way for a while you’d get to the lake, where you could go swimming and stuff. Although I didn’t really feel like swimming (it was also a little too chilly for that, even though the sun was shining) sitting at the lake, listening to music didn’t sound that bad. Better than being at home anyway.

I walked along, letting earlier summer memories flood back into my mind, remembering how I used to play in the streets when I was younger. It was actually really nice, I kind of wished I could go back in time just to relive that again. I was so lost in my memories that I didn’t see the guy coming right at me and I promptly walked straight into him.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t watch where I was going-“ I automatically started rambling, a habit of mine that comes to show whenever something embarrassing happens to me.

“Don’t worry mate, ‘m fine, it’s not like I was watching my step” The guy laughed and wow, he had a really nice laugh.

I finally looked up and oh my fucking God, Jesus Christ that stranger was fucking hot. He was my height and really skinny but it suited him nonetheless. His arms and neck were covered in tattoos and I even spotted some on his face. The rest of his body probably was just as colorful and honestly, I could hardly control the urge to rip his clothes of and retrace the bright patterns on his skin with my fingers. Wait, hold on, what the fuck was I thinking?! I had a fucking boyfriend back at home, I couldn’t just stand here, drooling over a random stranger. I’m not a cheater!

“You okay mate?” Concern was etched in his voice. I must’ve zoned out for quite a while.

“Er, yeah, I’m fine” I gave him a reassuring smile, shortly getting lost in the beautiful hazel orbs that were his eyes. Like, oh my God, I probably sound like a chick right now, but he actually was beautiful. And perfect. And probably really good in bed. Ah there go my thoughts again, no Josh, you’re not thinking about fucking that stranger, no, you only want to fuck Dan, stop cheating on him in your mind.

“Are you sure that everything’s fine? You didn’t hit your head or anything, right?” It was actually really cute how concerned he was. He was cute in general.

“Yes, I’m sure, don’t worry ‘bout it”

“Well, ok then. I better get going before I’m late for work. Guess I’ll see you around” With that he left me standing there, staring after him like some kind of retard that just saw a boy for the first time. It was likely that I actually looked like that though.

I let out a deep sigh, suddenly not feeling like going to the lake anymore. Instead I went back home, traipsing up to my room, deciding that watching TV might not be that bad of an idea. I really missed Dan, especially since he’d get my mind of Mr. Handsome and I wouldn’t feel guilty anymore. Why did I even feel guilty? Nothing happened, I just ran into him and we had a little bit of awkward conversation. Definitely nothing to worry about. But the town was small and chances of me meeting him again were high. And I guess I was scared of what could happen. Oh, c’mon Josh, who says that he’s even gay? You’re just sitting here, worrying about things that probably won’t even happen cause the guy you ran into is straight. I mean, like a guy looking like that would be gay. You already pushed your luck with Dan being bi, the possibility of Mr. Stranger being gay or bi is fucking tiny. It actually made me feel a little better, I mean, he was straight, so nothing would happen. Everything would be fine.

~~~

I opened my eyes when I heard the door close. I checked the time and it was already six. Huh, apparently I fell asleep watching Jeremy Kyle. On the other hand, who doesn’t fall asleep watching that bullshit?

“Hey, Josh, we’re back! You want dinner?” Ma called. I honestly didn’t feel like dinner, I was still drowsy from sleeping and the stranger from earlier still hadn’t left my mind, but ma would probably get worried if I denied food. I’m kind of a fatass.

I made my way downstairs and oh good, there was pizza for dinner. Awesome.

“So how was your day, Joshua?”

“It was alright. I took a walk and spent the rest of the day sleeping”

“Sounds like any typical teenager” Pa mused and I just stuck my tongue out at him.

“You want any pizza?”

“Can I eat in my room?”

Ma looked at me confused but still agreed. I grabbed the pizza box and a bottle of soda and made my way back upstairs. I kept on watching random stuff on TV while munching away on my pizza, occasionally sipping from the soda. If every day was going to be like today, it would be a long fucking summer.


	3. Josh.

The next day went on in a pretty similar manner. I got up, showered this time, had breakfast, was once again left alone by my grandparents and spent the day on my bed, watching stupid TV shows. I wish Game of Thrones or Misfits was on but both were on hiatus until fall. Fucking great. To top it all, I really had the urge to smoke but of course I wasn’t allowed to take my cigarettes either, my parents hoped I’d stop smoking once they weren’t available. So I sat there, being all moody because I couldn’t smoke and bored out of my fucking mind. Sighing I got up and went downstairs, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets in search for some chocolate. My substitute for nicotine. After looking through the cupboards about a million times I finally gave up, realizing that, in fact, my grandparents had no chocolate. Or any other kind of candy for that matter. Like, seriously, what kind of household were they living in?! I mean, who doesn’t have at least a tiny little crumb of chocolate to satisfy secret cravings? Everybody does, except for my grandparents. I stood there for a while, leaned against the counter, pondering what to do. Wait, didn’t we pass a grocery store on our way from the train station to the house? I think we did. Might as well try my luck and find out.

I left the house once again, this time turning to the right, music still blaring through my earphones. After a short walk through the perfection of a village I spotted a small grocery store to my left. More like a convenience store. It’ll still have chocolate though so it’d do. I entered the small store, hearing a bell above my head ring, signaling my arrival to anyone who might work here. It would actually be pretty cool if nobody worked here cause then I wouldn’t have to pay for whatever I might buy. Yes, I actually do think like that when I enter a store, you can call it wishful thinking and me being a cheap bastard. I aimlessly walked through the aisles, checking out what they had on sale. It was pretty normal, nothing too spectacular. I was just looking at the women hygiene products when I heard someone clear their throat behind me.

“I’m sorry but do you think you’re in the right aisle? Condoms and all that stuff are one over” They said, a slight chuckle audible in their voice.

I turned around, ready to reply something really witty when my breath suddenly stopped. Holy shit that was definitely the guy from yesterday. Y’know, hot guy I ran into? I stared at him for a while, mouth slightly agape, probably looking like an idiot once again.

“You okay, dude? Wait, aren’t you the guy that ran into me yesterday?”

“Hey, I didn’t run into you, you are the one that ran into me!” I finally found my voice again, unfortunately not being able to come up with a better answer than my poor attempt at throwing a comeback.

“Yeah, it’s whatever. So, you wanna tell me now why you’re in the women hygiene section?”

“Er, well, I was just kinda walking through and I got interested. I guess”

“You guess? That doesn’t sound very convincing. Sure you have a dick?”

I knew he was just teasing me but I still couldn’t fight the slight blush that was creeping up my face, making me look more like a chick than I already did.

“Yes, I’m sure I have a dick. At least I still did when I showered this morning”

He broke out into a full on laugh at my comment and God he was fucking cute when he laughed. His eyes got really small and his nose wrinkled up adorably and I really just wanted to hug him and never let go. Oh yeah great, and I’m cheating on Dan in my thoughts again.

“I was actually about to ask if I could see it just to make sure, but I guess I’ll just believe you”

I blushed harder at that and I was really thankful that he hadn’t actually asked me because I would’ve just died on the spot of embarrassment.

“So, how can I help you?” His voice suddenly changed to a friendly ‘the customer is the king’ kind of voice. I could see that it was only an act though; he was barely able to contain his laughter.

“Well, originally I was here for some chocolate or any other kind of candy but if you’d rather see my dick…” I trailed off, looking up at him through my lashes.

“Oh believe me, I’d much rather see your dick than work but I don’t think my boss would be pleased so…” His lips turned up into a smirk and hold on did he just say that he wants to see my _dick_?! I swear to God I could actually feel my cock twitch at that comment because, honestly thinking about having my way with him or even he having his with me (which is a rare thought, I’m usually the dominant one) in the middle of a convenience store was kind of hot. Really fucking kind of hot. I swallowed thickly before letting out a shaky breath I didn’t even know I was holding.

“Y-yeah, that wouldn’t be good” I cleared my throat, “Er, so where did you say was the candy aisle?”

“I never actually said where it was, we were too occupied with talking about your dick. But if you turn right in the next corner and go down three aisles, it’ll be right there” He winked at me before disappearing, probably to help some other customers.

I did as I was told, walking down the aisles and finally finding the one that said **Candy** above in big, bold letters. I quickly grabbed some chocolate bars and some other candy along a bottle of soda before making my way over to the cash register where, surprise, Mr. Hot Guy was sitting, awaiting me with the same smirk.

“Found everything you need?”

“Yes, I guess”

“Good, that’ll be £8.45 for you”

I paid and grabbed my stuff, making my way out of the store.

“Have a nice day! And think of me when you see your dick the next time!” He called after me and seriously, that was unnecessary, making my cock twitch once again was not wanted.

I arrived at home, taking my food upstairs with me, slumping down on my bed. Was hot guy really flirting with me? And since when was I shy when somebody talked to me?! Normally I’m the one to make other people uncomfortable, to leave them speechless and make them blush but all my flirting skills seem to get lost when I’m around him. And what was all that dick talk about? He wanting to see my dick? Did that mean that he was gay or at least bi? If he was it would be pretty fucking awesome. No wait, what am I talking about? I still have a boyfriend, I shouldn’t walk around and talk to cute guys, especially not about my dick and them wanting to see it. My thoughts should only be with Dan and I should only think about him seeing me naked, not some guy I just met and hardly spoke to. Hell, I didn’t even know his name! But still, there was something about that guy that drew me in, even if I didn’t know him. Other than him being all hot and cute and fuckable. There was something else, something that made me lose my cool and honestly it scared the hell out of me.

~~~

My grandparents came home unusually late that night, around eight. I got downstairs, greeting them and sitting down at the table, waiting for whatever food they got me. Oh McDonald’s this time, not that bad. I honestly think that ma wanted to fatten me so they could eat me later what with all the fast food I was given.

“So, do we have any plans for tonight?” I asked, dipping a French fry into some ketchup.

“Not really, we usually spend our nights watching TV or reading” Ugh great, old people activities. I mean, c’mon it was Friday, they could at least go out or something.

“Do you think I could go to that bar that’s around here?” I asked, trying not to sound like I wanted to get drunk.

“Well, you’re not exactly allowed to drink…” Ma said, being worried as always.

“I never said I wanted to drink. I just want to get out a little, y’know, check out the surroundings ‘n stuff”

“I guess, I mean if you promise us not to drink and be home by midnight it should be fine”

“Thanks ma!” I quickly got up, leaving a chaste kiss on her cheek, going upstairs again to change. Not that I tried to look good or anything, I mean there wouldn’t be anybody interesting around anyway, other than maybe hot guy. Not that I would want to look good for him because I have a boyfriend and I only need to look good for him but it wouldn’t be bad to look good in general. Ok I’m rambling and only because of a guy. What the fuck was happening to me?!

~~~

Two hours later, I was sat in a barstool, sipping on my third beer. It was pretty easy to drink around here, I looked old enough and the old guy behind the bar didn’t bother to ask for an ID.

“So you’re just following me around now cause you can’t get enough of me or what?” Somebody questioned me and hey I knew that voice. I looked up and yep it was definitely hot guy.

“Maybe _you’re_ following _me_ cause _you_ can’t get enough of _me_ ” I shot back.

“I don’t think it works that way since I’m the one working at all the places you visit” He winked at me and _fuck_ that was really cute.

“Touché” I grinned at him, finally feeling a little more confident.

“I’m not sure if I caught your name”

“I never said it, I was too occupied imagining what you dick looks like” It was my turn to wink at him and see a small blush forming on his cheeks. Oh yes baby, Josh was back.

“It’s Josh by the way”

“Oh cool, I’m Oli” Oli. It was a nice name. And it suited him. I was wondering if it was short for anything. Probably for Oliver. I was about to ask another question, but he was gone, getting another customer’s order. I took the time to give him a once over, taking in every little feature. He was wearing tight black skinny jeans that hugged his [s]ass[/s] legs in all the right places and a striped blue sweater that was ripped in some spots. His dark brown hair was covered with a grey beanie. He looked good but I think he’d look good wearing a trash bag.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer” He said, smirk visible on his flawless face. It didn’t even realize that he was back in front of me.

“Why would I want a picture if I could have the real thing?” I said, mirroring his facial expression.

“Well, who said you were going to get the real thing?”

“Once again, touché” Normally I’d be pissed about him having the last word and the better comebacks but surprisingly it didn’t bother me at all.

“So, where are you from Josh? I’ve never seen you around here”

“I’m from London and I’m spending my summer break here at my grandparents’”

“Why would a boy from London spend his summer break here? Isn’t being in London far more interesting?”

“Well, yes, but let’s just say that me being here wasn’t exactly by mutual consent”

“So your parents sent you here cause you fucked up. What did you do?”

He was too smart for his own sake. And I didn’t really want to tell Oli about what happened. Didn’t need him to judge me.

“Let’s just not talk about this right now, ok?”

“Er, sure, I can’t make you if you don’t want to. Tell me more about you. How old are you?”

“Seventeen”

“I knew you weren't legal! I bet Sam didn’t ask you for your ID, did he?”

“If Sam’s the guy that was here before you came then no, he didn’t ask. And let’s just leave it that way, yeah? Plus, I think it’s my turn to find out more about you. Tell me something”

“Well, I’m nineteen and I actually live in Sheffield and go to uni there. My little brother Tom lives with me, he’s about your age”

“So now you came back to visit your parents and decided to stay here to earn some money and flirt with random guys?” I joked, smile faltering when I saw the sad look in Oli’s eyes.

“Actually my parents died last year in a car crash. I’m just here to get their stuff out of the house so it can go on sale again”

Fan- _fucking_ -tastic. Leave it to me to destroy the good mood by joking over someone’s dead parents. So typical me, not being able to keep my fucking mouth shut.

“Fuck, I’m sorry dude, I didn’t mean it like that…”

“Nah, it’s fine, you didn’t know” He was still down but I couldn’t think of anything else to say to bring the mood back up. We sat there in silence, well I sat and he stood, before he was called over from another customer ordering a drink. I wrecked my brain furiously, trying to find something happy to say when he came back, but of course I didn’t come up with anything. Thanks brain, leaving me hanging when I really need you. When Oli came back over though, he already had a smile on his face again, although I could see it was fake. Suddenly I really felt like leaving, not wanting to hurt him more by saying something inconsiderate.

“I think I should be going, wouldn’t want grandma to worry, right?” I gave him a half smile, rising from my seat.

“Yeah, that would be bad. I guess I’ll see you around” He said, giving me another smile, a real one this time and I smiled back before turning around and making my way back home.

~~~

When I opened the front door, the house was dark, indicating that ma and pa had already gone to bed. I tiptoed upstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake them up. I finally made it to my room, closing the door and quickly changing into pajama pants and an old shirt, crawling under the covers of my oh so comfortable bed. I fell asleep to the image of Oli in my head and a lazy smile on my face.


	4. Oli.

I honestly couldn’t say what it was but there was definitely _something_ about Josh. I don’t just talk to people without a reason and with Josh there were multiple. Like how insanely hot and good looking he was with his messy brown hair that always looked like he just got out of bed but still styled to perfection. Or the slight stubble around his chin, making him look much older than he was. Or his insanely cute accent that sounded so so much better than my northern one. Or his breathtakingly blue eyes. I mean you just had to glimpse at him to be totally lost in the ocean colored orbs. He also had this awesome sense of style that basically just consisted of skinny jeans and different shirts, but oh my God did they suit him. Shit, I really sounded like I was falling for him.

I was splayed out on top of my bed in the small apartment I was living in while being here. It was nothing special, but I still liked it, mainly because it was much smaller and cozier than the one in Sheffield. And I had it all for myself, no Tom around to annoy me. Not like I didn’t like living with my brother, but it was nice to get away from time to time. My thoughts had been swirling around Josh since I left the bar two hours ago. My insomnia was getting the best of me once again, but I also didn’t really feel like going to sleep. I rather spent my time thinking about Josh.

He seemed oddly familiar, like I had seen him before, although that was pretty unlikely. He didn’t mention being here before. He also didn’t mention not being here before. Actually he didn’t really say much other than his age and why he was here. I definitely needed to get to know him better; he just had that effect on me, making me want to find out everything about him, from his darkest secrets to his lightest dreams. What was happening to me? What was he doing to me? I’ve never felt that way for anyone else and I had had plenty of girl- and boyfriends. And I only knew him for what, like two days? Less even, our little encounter on the street didn’t really count.

And yet he was still able to make me weak in the knees and make my legs feel like pudding, make my heart thump against my ribcage, make my stomach flutter with millions of butterflies, make my throat go dry like I hadn’t drank for ages. Around him I felt like a teenager again, like a girl in high school that got all flustered because her crush talked to her. Fuck, I never had feelings like that developing that quickly. It usually took me weeks to even start liking someone and months to fall in love with them. Although I don’t think I ever [i]was[/i] in love. Tom told me that he was in love with various girls multiple times, telling me that she was ‘the one’ but they all turned out to be petty little crushes. And it was the same with my relationships, none of them lasted longer than half a year.

But with Josh, I could actually see some kind of future. Oh what was I talking, he probably wasn’t even interested. I mean yes we flirted but he seemed to be that kind of guy, the one that flirts with people to get laid but wasn’t in for the long run. Maybe that’s why his parents sent him here, to make him change his ways and stop whoring around. He probably was a big partier too. And he certainly did not look like a nerd, so his grades were most likely suffering.

And still, I really just wanted him by my side, wanted to be able to hold him, kiss him, touch him whenever I wanted. I wanted to be the one for him, the one for whom he’d change his ways, for whom he’d stop sleeping around and actually try a relationship. And who knows, maybe one day I’d be exactly that person to him, and honestly, I couldn’t wait.


	5. Josh.

It was a little surprising to hear that my grandparents actually meant to spend the weekend with me. I kinda expected them to just leave again after breakfast on Saturday, but nope, today’s grandparents’ and grandchild’s day. Apparently.

“So how was last night?” Ma asked nonchalantly over bacon and scrambled eggs. I didn’t really know what she was getting at so I decided to play it safe.

“It was fun. A little boring though. Why?”

“Oh I was just wondering. Heard you and Oli took a liking to each other” I almost choked on my eggs. She heard of Oli and me?! Holy fuck, how fast do rumours spread around here?!

I awkwardly cleared my throat. “Uhm well, we talked a little. He seems alright”

“Sam said it looked like more than talking. Were you flirting?” Pa asked and hearing a word like flirting out of his mouth, believe me, it’s strange.

“Uh, no. At least not really. Maybe a tiny little bit. But nothing serious, I swear”

They laughed at that. I just stared at them confusedly. What was so funny?

“Oh, Josh, it’s perfectly fine. Don’t feel bad because you’re having a little bit of fun. I’m glad that you and Oli get along so well. By the way, he’s bi. Just in case you wanted to know” Ma winked at me and disappeared into the kitchen. I sat there, mouth agape, not being able to believe what had just happened. I mean, were they trying to set me and Oli up? Like, on a date? Did they want us to be together? Did they think we’d look cute together and be a good couple? Although I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I was kind of hoping they did. It’d be good to have my grandparents on my side. Not that I would need it, of course not, why would I even think that, I was with Dan anyways. And I did like him. Right? Right.

“C’mon, stop worrying so much, I was joking” Ma came back in, chuckling while closing my still opened mouth. I just swallowed thickly, pulling off my best half smile to show her that I totally got the joke and found it completely hilarious. Hilarious my ass.

“Uhm, so what are the plans for today?” I quickly tried to change the subject.

“Well, we were thinking to drive up to Sheffield. There’s this music convention we thought you might like” That honestly didn’t even sound that bad. Except that well, I had to go with my grandparents who are definitely not into my kind of music.

“And maybe you’d like to ask Oliver to join us, so you don’t get so bored going there with us old people. Besides Oli could use some distraction” Seriously? Apparently yes. Though taking Oli with me wasn’t that bad of an idea. I agreed to pa, ignoring the distraction part because, really, why would Oli need any kind of distraction?

~~~

Fifteen minutes later I was sat on my bed, fully dressed, ready to go with the phone on my lap. Ma gave me Oli’s number to call and ask if we wanted to tag along but I just couldn’t bring myself to call him. Yes, I know, I’m a huge pussy.

Finally I just thought [i]fuck it[/i], picking up the phone and dialing his number. He picked up after the third ring, voice sounding groggy.

_“Hello?”_

I quickly checked the time, it was 10:30am, seems like I woke him up.

 _“Uh, hello?”_ Whoops, I totally forgot to answer.

“Uh yeah, hi, this is Josh”

 _“Hi Josh”_ Definitely half asleep. I wondered whether he even knew it was me or if he just thought it was some other Josh.

“Uhm, yeah, well (fucking stop stuttering, you’re confident, not some loser), I just wanted to ask, like, my grandparents and I are going to Sheffield and I wanted to know, no, wait…” A light chuckle was audible from the other side of the line.

 _“Calm down, ‘m pretty sure it’s not that bad,”_ Again his incredibly cute chuckle, _“So you and your grandparents are going up to Sheffield. What then?”_

To say that I felt stupid would be the understatement of the year.

“Well, we’re going to this music convention and I just wanted to ask if you’d like to join us? Since ma and pa aren’t into my kind of music I just thought it’d be more fun with you? Only if you want to, of course, I don’t want to force you or make you go out of pity but maybe it would be kinda fun?”

I started to grow really frustrated. I was never one to ramble or make every sentence sound like a question. God, I was the fucking king of high school with tons of girls lying to my feet, I was a confident and sarcastic asshole and now I’m not even able to get a straight sentence out without stumbling over my words?! And this asshole of Oli just stood there (or sat, I honestly didn’t know what he was doing, maybe he was even lying down, which was likely since I probably woke him up and here I am, rambling once again), chuckling again and I couldn’t even be mad at him because he was just so adorable.

_“Yeah, sounds like fun. I’d like to join you and free you from your grandparents induced misery”_

Hold on, did he just say he’d like to join me although I sounded like a complete and utter retard just seconds ago?

“Uhm, what?”

_“I said, yes I’d like to join you. You gonna pick me up or do I have to come over?”_

Nope, my hearing was still good.

“We’re going to pick you up. Uh, be ready in like, I don’t know, fifteen minutes?”

_“Was that another question I have to answer?”_

“No, no we’ll be at yours in fifteen”

_“Alright, see you in a bit”_

“Yeah, see you” With that he hung up and I sat on my bed, dumbfounded. That was perhaps one of the hardest phone calls I ever had to make and it was just a guy I met two days ago. Yet here I was, stumbling over my words, acting like an idiot.

I traipsed downstairs where my grandparents were awaiting me in the kitchen.

“So is he going to tag along?” Pa asked while ma took the phone from me and put it in its place.

“Yeah, he is. I told him we’d be at his in fifteen minutes”

“Well, then we should get going. You got everything?”

I nodded, following them outside and to their beat up car in the driveway. They could use a new one, but grandparents always think they don’t even if their car is falling apart. We got in and slowly started driving to Oli’s. I thought he’d live in his parents’ old house but it looked like he had rented a small apartment. Maybe it was just too painful to live in his old house that held so many memories of his dead parents. Five minutes later I saw him exit through the front door, making his way over to our car and getting on the backseat next to me.

~~~

After an eternity we finally arrived at the convention center. The atmosphere in the car was, to put it lightly, awkward since none of us knew what to talk about. And Oli and I couldn’t exactly start flirting or making out in the backseat. The latter being my wishful thinking.

At the entrance they gave us small blue bracelets so that we could get back in if we wanted to leave for whatever reason. As soon as we entered we were surrounded by noise, loud chatter from people mixed with different kinds of music playing. There were instruments everywhere and to be honest, it was heaven.

“So, how about we separate and meet here again in, let’s say, four hours? We can go and get dinner afterwards” Ma suggested and we all agreed. They left shortly after, leaving me and Oli standing there awkwardly.

“You wanna look at the plan over there and check out what they have to offer?” Oli asked lamely, clearly uncomfortable. I couldn’t say anything different about myself, so I just nodded and followed him to a big board that held a plan of the building with the different areas and themes of the convention.

“What kind of music do you listen to?” I asked, surprised that I didn’t stutter or ramble or stumble over my words. Good job Josh, we’re making progress.

“Oh, y’know, heavier stuff like Of Mice & Men. Although I also like Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens. And of course Fall Out Boy and blink-182”

Ok seriously, could this guy get any more perfect? Not only did he look fucking amazing, what with all the tattoos (I really had a thing for tattoos) and his beautiful eyes and shit, no he also listened to the same music as I do. Fuck he was practically made for me. Except that I had Dan.

“Really? Me too!” Good one Josh, how innovative and smart.

A huge grin spread across Oli’s face at my response though, which made me smile in return. He was so fucking adorable.

The next two hours saw us walking around, talking about music and successfully ignoring our surroundings. It actually felt really nice to just talk to him about something he truly loved, much better than the whole flirting and making each other uncomfortable thing. He told me that him and his friends had a band once but gave it up quickly due to lack of accomplishment. It made me wonder what his voice would sound like. I knew he was a screamer (no sexual innuendo) but I’d also like to hear his singing voice. In return I told him that I played guitar and sang a little and of course he wanted me to sing something. I refused. He pouted and awoke my urge to kiss the pout of his lips, but naturally I resisted.

The time flew by and before we knew it was four and we were meeting my grandparents at the entrance again.

“You guys had fun?” Ma asked and both of us agreed.

“So, what do you want for dinner?” Pa questioned as we walked back to the car.

“There’s this pretty good Italian place downtown. If you feel like Italian” Oli chimed in and honestly, Italian sounded really good right now.

~~~

Dinner went by quite uneventful, we spent the time exchanging about the day, making me realize how glad I was that Oli came along, because what my grandparents did sounded really fucking boring.

The drive home was just as quiet as the drive there, this time though because we were all tired and almost falling asleep.

~~~

“Thanks for letting me tag along. It was a fun day. Guess I’ll see you around” Oli smiled at me as he exited the car in front of his apartment.

“Yeah, it was. Good night” I smiled back, already half asleep.

As soon as we got home I went upstairs, laying down on my bed and falling asleep, not even bothering to take my clothes off.


	6. Josh.

The obnoxious sound of the doorbell rang through the house, waking me from my deep slumber. I groaned loudly, rolling around in bed, waiting for my grandparents to finally open the door. Except that they didn’t and the doorbell kept ringing. I huffed, checked the time, 11:45am, and made my way downstairs, mumbling profanities under my breath.

When I opened the door I was greeted by Oli’s precious face, him holding a bag from the local bakery and two cups of coffee.

“Hey Josh. Sorry for waking you up. Can I come in?”

I just nodded, opening the door wider to let him in. I’m definitely not a morning person and I hate being woken up. Despite me being all grumpy and sleepy, I did not fail to wonder why Oli was here. We hadn’t seen each other since last Saturday, and that was a week ago. I tried to contact him multiple times but he was just gone. He didn’t answer any phone calls and didn’t show up to work (yes, I spent basically every day at the store and the bar, hoping for him to finally show up). And now he was standing here, in my kitchen, after ignoring me for the past week, unpacking his bag and placing the food neatly on the kitchen table.

“Y’know, you could take out some plates and stuff instead of standing there, looking at me like I'm some kind of alien,” he said, giving me a cheeky smile.

“Why would I? I haven’t seen you in seven days and now you just show up on my doorstep, expecting me to help you set up some weird kind of breakfast?! I don’t think so”

His eyes immediately clouded over, giving him a sad yet apologizing look. Although I still tried to glare at him angrily my anger quickly faded. It really pissed me off that I couldn’t stay mad at him.

“I know and I’m sorry. But I’m here to explain, so the faster you move and help me now, the faster you get your answers.” Fucking smartass. Nonetheless I moved over to the cupboards, taking out two plates and two forks. The stuff he brought looked absolutely delicious, cinnamon buns and little breakfast cakes accompanied by eggs with bacon. I hadn’t had a breakfast like that in a while.

“By the way, your grandparents are out of town again. They’ll be back tomorrow night”

“How do you know?!”

“They left a note, dumbass” He laughed, making me pout. Sure I could’ve got the idea to check for any notes from my grandparents, but it’s still not a reason to call me a dumbass. On another note, that meant I had the house for a whole weekend all for myself. I honestly never thought my grandparents would be that busy, considering that they didn’t even work anymore.

The breakfast was finally sat up and Oli and I took a seat at the kitchen table across from each other, slowly starting to eat.

“So, you probably want to know why I kinda disappeared last week”

“Thank you Captain Obvious!” He just rolled his eyes at my childishness but in my eyes it was justified.

“Anyways. First I actually wanted to thank you for keeping me busy last Saturday. That helped a lot”

What was he talking about? We just went to a stupid music convention with tons of awkward tension, how’s that supposed to help anybody?!

“What do you mean?” I asked, more than just slightly confused.

“Well, last Saturday was the anniversary of my parents’ death. By taking me to Sheffield you helped keep my mind from thinking too hard and doing something stupid”

Oh. _Oh_. Okay, that actually explains a lot. But what did he mean by ‘something stupid’? I voiced my thoughts. Oli sighed.

“You would’ve found out sooner or later anyways, so I might as well…” I looked at him confusedly, watching him pull up his sleeves. I only now noticed that he always wore long sleeves. He had them up to his elbows now, turning his arms outwards, letting me see his wrists. I couldn’t suppress the sharp intake of breath, letting my eyes linger on his wrists. Even though they were covered in tattoos you could still see the raised white lines covering both of his forearms. I couldn’t help but stare at them, mouth slightly ajar. I knew Oli felt extremely uncomfortable but I couldn’t do anything about it. It was like I was frozen.

“So you cut yourself?” Really brain? I mean, really?! Wasn’t that kind of obvious?! While mentally insulting myself I failed to notice the small smile hanging at the corners of his lips.

“Well, I mean that’s kind of obvious but yes, I cut myself. When my parents died I had just turned eighteen half a year ago. I just finished high school and I still didn’t know what to do. Tom was sixteen; we were both pretty much like children. Trying to figure out your life without any parental support is pretty hard y’know?” I could only nod. I suddenly felt incredibly bad; I was acting like a complete asshole towards my parents when everything they did was help me get my life back on track. Oli had nobody other than his little brother; he was barely eighteen when he had to figure out how to make a living for him and Tom as well.

“I started to be depressed as soon as my parents were dead. I didn’t know what to do, how to support Tom and I, how to pay for an apartment. I found myself a couple of jobs, spending my days working while simultaneously studying for college and helping Tom get his life back on track. That’s when it all started to get too much, my depression was getting worse every day but I couldn’t afford expensive therapy sessions. So I turned to cutting. It was my way to relieve stress, my escape from my shitty excuse of a life. You probably think I’m a huge pussy now, not being able to handle a little bit of bad luck and turning to hurting myself ‘cause I couldn’t cope…” He trailed off, being out of words from his little story. "So again, thanks for last Saturday, 'cause I know for sure that if it wasn't for you I would've spent the day in my bathroom, cutting myself to death"

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. I never thought Oli had it that hard in his life; he seemed to be a pretty happy guy when I talked to him. Guess he was just good at hiding things. I looked up at him, taking in his features. Oli’s head hung down, little sobs were shaking his body. I don’t know what made me do it, but I reached out, placing my hand over his, squeezing it lightly. He looked up to me, eyes watery and gave me a small smile.

“I know this sounds really pathetic right now, but I’m truly sorry for what happened to you. I feel like an idiot now, whining over my parents being protective and helping me while you have to figure out your whole life all by yourself, hardly able to afford a good life for you and your brother. I’m really, really sorry”

“You honestly don’t have to. Actually you’re helping me quite a bit here. And your grandparents are good people; they helped and supported me a lot after my parents died. They still help me to be honest” He smiled at me again and I think this might just be my favorite thing in the world now. I smiled back, feeling the mood lighten instantly.

“So, you have the house to yourself all weekend. Any plans yet?” Oli questioned, smirking at me.

“Oh, you know, how about a lot of junk food and a lot of TV and a lot of jerking off?”

“Sounds good, mind if I join you?” I directly felt the blush creeping up my cheeks, quickly looking down to hide it.

We finished breakfast shortly after, putting the trash and dishes away.

“So what is Tom doing now while you’re here?” I was wondering about that since he told me about his brother.

“He’s still in Sheffield. He didn’t want to come back with me, which is understandable, so now he stays in our flat”

“And you’re not afraid he’ll wreck it? My parents hardly let me stay at home alone ‘cause they’re so scared” He laughed at that, making my stomach flutter because I was the one to make him happy. Wait, _no_ , Josh that’s _not good_ , you are so not getting any butterflies because of Oli, that was just your stomach telling you to use the bathroom. And as much as I wanted to believe that, I knew that wasn’t the reason.

~~~

The sun was burning holes in my stomach, making me feel extremely hot and extremely good at the same time. I was lying in my grandparents’ backyard, enjoying the beautiful Sunday weather.

Oli and I had spent yesterday sitting on the couch, realizing our original plan of watching TV and eating junk food. It was really nice, watching stupid pointless movies with him, laughing over the smallest things, throwing popcorn at each other. He even helped me to clean up afterwards, although I insisted on him going home, leaving the work to me. I readjusted the sunglasses on my nose, taking a small sip from my coke. Thinking about yesterday made me realize that I never had that much fun with Dan. Sure, I liked him a lot but our relationship consisted mostly of fucking. Which was nice, don’t get me wrong, I’m a hormone-driven teenager after all and Dan was unbelievably hot, but I also enjoyed the little things, like being stupid together and cuddling and watching movies and just spending time together in general. And I didn’t have that with Dan.

I felt the need to talk to Max about this. He always helped me with relationship trouble (although in this case it was the lack of a relationship with Oli). The more I thought about my feelings, the more I realized that I really liked Oli, that I was basically falling for him. Which was bad because Dan. I couldn’t just break up with him. _“Hey Dan, sorry but we’re over cause I met this cute guy that lives three hours away from London and probably isn’t even interested”_ Yeah, no. Doesn’t quite work. Besides, Dan could be a pretty little bitch and breaking up with him like that would totally end with a big fight. Seeing that he was really close to Matt and Chris and I was really close to Max, it would just end up with our group of friends breaking up. Which would also be bad. Plus, Dan lived just around the corner, so I was at his place in no time whenever I needed to talk to somebody or I needed to fuck. I couldn’t have that with Oli. I know that sounds really selfish and pathetic but that’s who I am. When I need to fuck, I want to fuck and just jerking off isn’t enough. It never was.

~~~

When my grandparents came back on Sunday night I was sunburned. Like everywhere. My nose shone brighter than fucking Rudolph’s.

“Oh, look who spent too much time in the sun without using any sunscreen!” Pa teased as soon as he spotted my shirtless, red torso.

“Yeah, whatever, at least I’ll be toned later on” I muttered.

“Yes, and your risk to get skin cancer just increased by a lot” Ma said. Great, so they finally get home just to make fun of me.

“Whatever. How was your weekend? Where did you even go?”

“Just up to Sheffield, visiting some friends and checking on Tom” That name caught my attention.

“Tom? As in Tom Sykes?”

“Yes, Oliver’s little brother. You two used to play a lot back in the day when you still visited on a regular basis” Way to make me feel bad grandpa.

“We did? Huh, didn’t know that. What about Oli, did we hang out?” Suddenly the conversation got really interesting.

“Not that much, Oli was kind of shy when he was younger. You should ask him about it though. Next time you see him” With that the conversation was over and my grandparents went upstairs to go to bed. Rude. Didn’t even ask me if I had a nice weekend.

I just sighed, grabbed a cookie for dinner (my bad grandparents didn’t get me anything and I was way too lazy to cook something. Besides, I would’ve just set the kitchen on fire) and went up to my room. I fell asleep watching old re-runs of _Friends_.


	7. Josh.

_„Oh, f-f-fuck Oli, yes right there, oh my gosh, h-harder, please…“ I barely managed to stutter out, the sensation of Oli’s dick bruising my prostate, his hand stroking my dick and his teeth abusing my neck too strong to let my brain form coherent sentences. I could feel the bed underneath me shifting, the headboard hitting the wall when Oli slammed into me impossibly harder, hitting my sweet spot dead on with each thrust. His moans and deep groans were muffled by my neck while my screams of his name floated freely through the thick air of the room. Beads of sweat were rolling down both our bodies, making our hair stick to our foreheads. My knuckles were white from gripping the sheets too hard for too long and there were raised red lines along Oli’s back where my nails had dug in too deep but the two of us didn’t care ‘cause it was all just too good and hot and[/i] fuck [i]I was really about to come any minute. Oli seemed to sense that (or he was just close himself) since his thrusts slowed down and turned into him dirtily grinding his hips against mine, working on my prostate, while his grip on my cock got harder._

_“C’mon, Joshie, come for me, baby…” Oli whispered into my ear huskily and that was it, I was comi-_

The ring of the phone on my bedside table right beside my ear woke me from my dreams. I groaned, not really knowing if being woken up was good or bad. I really would’ve liked to come in my dream but on the other hand that way I was saved from having to change the sheets. The phone kept ringing until I finally realized that I should probably answer.

“Hello?” I said, holding the device to my ear.  
 _“Josh? Hey, this is Oli”_ Speaking of the devil.

“Hi. What’s up?”

 _“Not much, I hope I didn’t wake you up”_ Not at all. Note the sarcasm. _“I was just wondering if you’d like to go to the lake with me today? It’s supposed to be like 30 degrees and it’s already insanely hot so I thought it’d be nice to cool down a little”_

I thought about his suggestion for a little while. To be honest, I didn’t feel like going out at all, especially not with Oli, considering the dream I just had. Plus, I had a raging boner because of him and I really needed some form of release and thinking about seeing Oli naked and wet all day long didn’t sound boner-avoiding. On the other side it definitely would be nice to see Oli naked and wet all day long…

“Yeah, sounds like fun”

_“Awesome! I’ll pick you up in thirty minutes. Bring something to drink, I don’t really have anything.”_

“Sure, no probs. See you later”

_“Yeah, see you”_

What have I gotten myself into?

~~~

Exactly thirty minutes later Oli was stood on my front porch. Talk about being on time. It was pretty hard for me to get out of bed, shower, get rid of my boner and get dressed in that time. Not to mention that I had to pack my bag and get something to eat and drink. I still managed to do so though and I was pretty proud of myself for that, considering that I’m lazy and slow.

“You ready?” Oli grinned at me and I couldn’t help but to grin back, it was literally that contagious.

“Yep. See you later ma, pa” I shouted over my shoulder to my grandparents before following Oli to his car.

The drive to the lake didn’t take more than fifteen minutes and was filled with comfortable silence and music playing. I didn’t recognize the band but was too lazy to ask who it was. And I liked them and didn’t want Oli to change the station or CD or anything.

When we arrived we got out of the car and Oli went to the back to get our stuff while I just stood there and stared at the beautiful view in front of me. There was a straight dock right across from me with a ladder at the end, going into the dark water. The sun was burning from the crystal blue sky but there were enough trees along the waterside to spend shade. And the best was that we were completely alone, not a single soul in sight, even though there were multiple docks and houses along the shore.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Oli suddenly said beside me, making me jump a little. I still nodded, looking back over the lake.

“Why aren’t there any other people around?” I wondered out loud.

“Most of them have a pool in their backyard and prefer it over the lake. And families with little kids rather go to the public pools because the lake is too deep. So you’re mostly all by yourself out here” I nodded, acknowledging what he said before following him down to the shore.

We put our stuff down and Oli even had a big red and white checkered blanket. And outsider would probably think we were on a date, and honestly I wasn’t quite sure if we actually weren’t. I found Oli to be quite unpredictable sometimes so it might even be a date without me knowing.

“Dude, you’re thinking too hard. Loosen up a little” He poked me in the side with his elbow, giving me another one of his signature smiles that I totally fell in love with.

“Who says I’m thinking?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe the wrinkles on your forehead? Seriously, if you keep doing that you’ll just get more and then you’ll look really old”

“Nah, I won’t, I still have Botox”

“Yeah, and then you’ll look even worse than you already do” Okay, _ow_ , that hurt, even though I knew he wasn’t serious.

“Ow, that hurt right here” I said dramatically, holding my chest right where my heart was.

“Oh, come on drama queen, stop whining”

“I am not a drama queen!” I exclaimed, I got that a lot and I really hated it. I wasn’t even that much of a drama queen.

“You sure? I think it’s kinda like the thing with your dick, you say it’s there, but you’ll never be sure.” He smirked at me. He was so going to get it back.

“Oh really? You wanna take a look to see if it’s there?” I saw his face getting red from the huge blush he had to fight, although he quickly looked down to hide it. Wait, did he just bite his lip? Oh, look, little Oli is having bad thoughts about me. Though I was one to talk, what with my little sex dream about him last night. I had thought about that dream all morning but I still didn’t know what it meant. I mean, sure, it definitely means that I like Oli more than I should but why a sex dream? I’ve never had a wet dream over anybody else before, not even Dan.

“Anyway, you wanna go swimming?” Oli suddenly spoke up again, apparently he got over embarrassing moments way faster than I did.

“Yeah, sure. I’m pretty much dying of heat”

“Mh, and you’re not a drama queen” He winked before turning around to take his shirt off. And holy shit, not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine him to look like this. His whole back was a single piece of art and it seemed like it even covered his ass (which looked really nice in swimming trunks by the way). _And_ he had back dimples. He turned around, looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to take my shirt off as well. Though I didn’t understand how he could expect that when he was standing in front of me looking like _that_. His chest was just as beautiful as his back, colorful tattoos littered his skin, leaving hardly any free room. _And_ he had gorgeous collarbones. _And_ his trunks hung extremely low on his hips _and_ he had really prominent hipbones.

Let me tell you, the four major turn on’s for me are collarbones, hipbones, back dimples and tattoos. And Oli had ‘em all. In the most beautiful way possible. Sorry Dan, you know you’re amazing but you got nothing on Oli’s perfection.

“Are you done with staring now or do you need a little more time?” Oli’s words tore me once again from my daydream. His smirk was prominent as ever, making me blush furiously because, be honest, it fucking sucks to be caught staring.

“Nah, I’m good, there’s not much to look at anyway” I tried to play it cool, winking at him before finally pulling my shirt off as well, satisfied when I noticed Oli stealing little glances at me, too.

“Well then, we going swimming now or what?” I asked after letting him check me out a little longer. His eyes quickly shot up from my body to my eyes and, hold on, was that desire and lust swimming in them? The look faded quickly though and he nodded, taking off towards the dock.

I followed until we were both stood at the end of the pier, looking down at the dark water.

“It looks cold” I complained, not willing to even stick my toe in the water.

“Yeah, that’s why people go swimming when it’s hot, to cool down” Smartass.

“Yeah, ok, but I’m not going in there. I’m gonna freeze my balls off”

“Really Josh? We drive here just so that you can chicken out now? You’re not gonna freeze your balls off if you don’t even have any” I glared at him but he just laughed it off. I was about to answer when I suddenly lost my hold and fell face first into the cold lake. When I came up I could see Oli standing in his original spot, laughing his ass off.

“Oh my God, Josh, that was probably the most elegant way to fall into water I’ve ever seen. Ever thought about Olympia?” Haha, very funny Mr. Sykes.

“Kiss my ass, you fucking asshole” I answered before grabbing his arms and pulling him down. He landed with a huge splash, water spraying everywhere. He came up gasping for air, his hair stuck to his forehead. It was actually quite hilarious, hadn’t his hair reminded me of my dream last night, where our hair was stuck to our forehead from sweat. I remembered his hands all over me, his teeth scraping at my neck while he fucked me into oblivion…

“Hey Josh, you okay?” Oli asked, concern written on his face.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine, sorry for zoning out”

He gave me a skeptical look but didn’t ask any further. For once I was happy for the cold water around me, having a boner in the freezing liquid was pretty much impossible.

“So, I remember coming here with my friends before, but I’ve never seen you…” I tried to change the subject and luckily it worked.

“So you’ve been here before?”

“Yes, I came here a lot when I was younger, but that doesn’t quite answer my question…”

“Oh, that’s why you look so familiar! You played with Tom a lot, didn’t you?”

“Yes, Oli, now answer my question” I chuckled, normally I hated it when people didn’t answer my questions, but with Oli it was okay.

“Yeah, sorry. Uhm, let’s just say I was never really… _outgoing_ when I was younger. The other kids always thought I was kind of weird because I listened to different music and rather wore skinny jeans and band shirts. Now being different is cool and I have many friends but a couple years ago it wasn’t. And Tom kinda told me to stay away from him and his friends, ‘cause he was afraid you’d think I was weird and wouldn’t want to be friends with him anymore. I knew it was bullshit but I complied. So instead I helped my parents and the other people in town and earned a little bit of money so it was all good.”

I felt really bad for Oli while simultaneously being mad at Tom for saying stuff like that. But I also knew that I would’ve thought Oli was weird back then, because I didn’t listen to heavy music until two years ago. Still, I would’ve liked to befriend Oli back then.

“Well, that sucks” Wow Josh, slow down, your intellect is showing.

Oli let out a quiet chuckle. “It does but it wasn’t like I didn’t have any friends back then. They just all lived in Sheffield.”

We stayed in the lake for a little longer until I started complaining that my balls were actually going to freeze off if we didn’t get out soon. Oli just laughed and called me a baby which resulted in me hitting him. We swam back to the pier and climbed out of the water.

“Wanna race back to the blanket?” I challenged, throwing a smirk towards Oli. He laughed.

“What are you, like five?”

“I’m a five year old at heart” I said before getting up and starting to run off towards the picnic.

“Hey, not fair, cheater!” Oli yelled after me and I quickly heard footsteps behind me.

I suddenly felt hands wrap around my waist from behind, pulling me down.

“Hey, lemme go!” I squealed, trying to break free from Oli’s grasp. I only managed to turn around though, so I was lying on my back, Oli on top of me. He had my hands pinned down above my head and straddled my waist, making it impossible for me to escape. Only now did I notice how fucking close his face was. Like, I could just lift my head up a little bit…or Oli could lean down…my eyes flickered between his hazel eyes and his cherry lips, biting my own. He was doing the same, obviously considering the pros and cons of kissing me right now. The sexual tension was so thick you could’ve cut it with a knife. And then Oli started to inch down, his lips coming closer and closer to mine, his breath ghosting over my slightly opened mouth. There were barely centimeters between us, our noses almost touching when he broke out of his trance and quickly snapped his head back.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” He released his grip on me and scrambled back, staring at me with wide eyes.

“Uh, no you’re fine, don’t worry ’bout it. We just got caught up in the moment” I laughed it off although I was hardly able to contain my disappointment. I was seriously _so fucking close_.

~~~

We continued our day like nothing happened. The picnic was actually pretty great; Oli even brought a small electrical grill where we grilled some burgers. The two of us stayed at the lake until the sun went down and it started to get chilly. Only then did we get dressed and packed up, making out way back home.

Oli pulled up in front of my grandparents’ house, looking at me expectantly. I grabbed my stuff before turning back to him.

“Uhm, thanks, I guess. Today was pretty fun. We should, like, do it again”

“Totally agree to that” He gave me a small yet sincere smile which I gladly returned.

“So, I guess I see you later. Have a good night”

“You too”

I just sat there for a little while longer, hoping for some kind of good night kiss, but it never came. So I just got out, waving at Oli as he drove away. I turned around, unlocking the front door. Ma and pa seemed to be asleep already. Seriously, it was only ten, how fucking early do they go to bed?! I already knew that I wouldn’t do that, no matter how old I was.

I traipsed upstairs, hung my wet clothes in the shower to dry and went to bed quickly, thinking about Oli, our almost kiss and my wet dream.


	8. Oli.

_What the fuck were you thinking?!_

That question had been running through my mind all morning, from when I got up, over breakfast up to now where I was sitting in my car on my way to Sheffield. I had to check on Tom and there were some college things to do and I just wanted to hang out with my friends again. But still, what the fuck was I thinking?! Like I almost kissed Josh. While we were both wet and pretty much naked. In public. After we just went swimming. After knowing him for basically a little over a week. Although I didn’t even know if he was interested _or_ single _or_ both. Good one, Oli, way to fuck up. Josh probably thought I was some kind of freak now that just wanted to get in his pants. Wouldn’t surprise me if he stayed away from me from now on. Sure, I’d be sad, but surprised? Hell, no.

After an eternity left with nothing but my thoughts and the empty freeway in front of me (there’s really not much traffic on Sundays) I finally arrived, pulling up in front of Tom and I’s flat. It was located in a small apartment complex. Nothing too fancy but still kinda nice. There were a lot of other college students and young couples, some with and some without kids, living around us, so it was a quiet, nice and clean environment. Not that I cared that much but that way I didn’t have to worry about leaving Tom by himself.

“Tom, I’m home!” I called out into the empty apartment after unlocking the door. I kicked off my shoes and made my way into the kitchen, dropping the few groceries I brought with me. There was still no trace of Tom, though I’d been home for a good ten minutes. Normally he would’ve come out of his room to greet me by now. Slightly worried I made my way through the small hallway, passing my room and the shared bathroom before reaching my brother’s room at the end. I knocked on the dark wooden door, getting no response. I pondered whetheror not I should knock again, deciding against it and just entering the small bedroom. The room was pitch black, the only light coming from the hallway behind me. The black curtains were closed, giving the bright sunlight no chance to light up the room. Since I wasn’t sure if Tom was present or not I walked up to the window and pulled the curtains to the side, leaving in the dangling light. I could hear a loud groan behind me and yes, Tom was definitely there.

“Fuck, Oli, close the fucking curtains again before I fucking kill you!”

“Well, hello to you, too, favorite little brother!” I chuckled, walking over to the bed where my brother was buried underneath a heap of pillows and blankets.

“You can so totally suck my dick! I’m fucking hung over, lemme sleep!” Tom Sykes, polite as ever.

“I noticed. You were out to party last night?”

“Yes.”

“You want some advil?”

“Yes.”

I got up, going to the bathroom to get my brother some water and said advil. When I got back Tom had freed himself from all the blankets and pillows. He still looked like shit and probably had a murderous headache but at least I could see his face now. I handed him the water and pills, him taking them from me thankfully.

“So, whose party was it?”

“Adrian’s”

“Was it good?”

“Yeah”

“You got laid?”

“Yes”

“Who was it?”

“Tiffany” I witnessed enough of Tom’s hangovers to be used to his one worded answers. Though I never heard of Tiffany.

“Who’s Tiffany? She new?”

“Kinda. Transferred from Middleston to my school” Huh. Middleston was a fancy school, weird that someone would transfer from there to Tom’s public school.

“Interesting. Was she good?”

“Yeah. We’re probably going to go out or something” Oh, another girlfriend. The third one this year. And no girl- or boyfriends for me so far. Although, Josh…no Oli, don’t even think about him, he’s not interested.

“Okay. There’s food in the fridge if you get hungry. I’m going out to meet with the guys”

Tom just nodded and turned back around in bed. Knowing him he’d sleep far into the late afternoon. I shook my head at him. When I was in high school, I didn’t do stuff like that. Maybe because I didn’t have as many friends as him.

~~~

I got to the little diner around one. It was called _Sally’s_ and it had been my friends and I’s meeting point since we discovered it back in eighth grade. I entered and quickly searched the small place for a familiar face. I spotted my best friend Matt (Nicholls, not Kean, although we were pretty good friends, too) in the far left corner, in a booth next to the big street view windows. He looked up at me when I sat down across from him.

“Oli! Dude, I haven’t seen you in, like, forever!” He exclaimed grinning at me excitedly.

“Y’know it’s only been a week, right?”

“Yeah, _forever_ , that’s what I said” I laughed at his childishness. He’d always been like that though, never short of a good joke to cheer me up and always there for me when I needed a friend. We met in sixth grade and it was basically love at first sight. Matt and I immediately bonded and our friendship had been strong ever since. I told him everything, from relationship troubles to me being depressed and cutting myself and he helped me through everything. It was the same for him, we were always there for each other and I swear, if he wasn’t straight we’d totally been dating by now. Maybe even married.

“So, how have you been? How are things with the house going?”

“Pretty good. I got most of the stuff sorted out now and I know what I want to keep and what goes on sale or just trashed. I thought about having a yard sale here in Sheffield next Saturday, y’know, when the whole apartment complex has it? I’d just need some help to get it all up here, it won’t fit in my car”

“I can help you. And if our cars aren’t enough we could ask Jordan, too. Vegan (as we liked to call Matt Kean to avoid confusion) is on vacation in Italy with his parents. Lucky bastard. And Lee wants to spend some quality time with his girlfriend at some wellness hotel somewhere near Manchester. I don’t know how much stuff you have and if two cars are enough since Jordan kinda wrecked his”

“He wrecked his car? How did that happen?”

“Oh, you know, he was at a party and thought it’d be smart to drive home drunk and there was a wall and yeah. Luckily he didn’t get into trouble for driving under influence”

I was just about to answer when a waitress came over.

“Hi, guys, what can I get for you?” She asked sweetly, stealing little glances at Matt.

“I’ll take the house made bacon burger and a large coke” Matt said, completely oblivious to the fact that the waitress was practically drooling over him.

“And I get the large summer salad and a water, please” I said, ignoring the _are you really going to be all healthy on me now because I totally know you’re a fatass_ -look Matt was giving me. The waitress just nodded and left, still turning around to look at my best friend.

“She was so checking you out” I told him.

“No, she wasn’t”

“Course she was. Oh my God, she was basically drooling over you, ready to tear your clothes off and fuck you right in front of me on this table!”

“You serious?”

“Yes! You should give her your number when we pay” Seriously, it was ridiculous how oblivious he could be sometimes.

“Well, if you say so. Anyway, you like my plans about the yard sale?”

I nodded. “Yeah, sure, sounds good. Let’s do it”

“’Kay. You going back tonight or tomorrow?”

“Probably tonight. Why?”

“Then I’ll have to call you to talk about everything again” Just in that moment the waitress (her name was Kelly, at least that was what her name tag said) came back, serving us our drinks and food.

“There’s your food, guys. Enjoy” She left but not without throwing a smile at Matt. Who, of course, didn’t notice because he was too engrossed in his food. Fatass.

“You do realize that she’s been staring at you the whole time right?”

“Oh, really?” He looked up, already chewing on a large bite.

“Yes, you nimrod”

“Hey, I’m not a nimrod! ‘S not like you always notice when someone likes you!” My thoughts immediately flew back to Josh. What if Matt was right and I really just didn’t notice that Josh liked me? Maybe I was just too oblivious, too engrossed in thinking he didn’t like me? What if-

“Oi, Oli, you still there?!” Matt waved a hand in front of my face, bringing me back into reality.

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Kinda zoned out”

“I noticed. What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing” Fuck, that came way too fast. I knew Matt sensed something from the knowing look on his face.

“Ohh. So who is she? Or he? Do I know them?”

“Who said I liked someone?” I questioned, trying to change the subject a little.

“I don’t know, maybe ‘cause you always zone out like that when you like someone and you’re thinking about them?” I need new friends, the old ones know way too much.

“I also zone out when I think about my parents”

“Yes, but then you get this sad look on your face and now you didn’t. So who is it?” He asked impatiently, stuffing his face with fries. I knew he wouldn’t let it go and bug me the whole day, hell the whole _week_ if he had to, so I might as well just tell him.

“Well, it’s a guy”

“Ooo, didn’t have that in a while, did we? What’s his name? Do I know him? How old is he? Is he cute? Or hot? Or both? Or just fuckable? God, Oli, I need answers! Now!”

“Yeah, yeah, calm down!” I let out a quiet chuckle, “His name’s Josh. He’s seventeen and from London, but he’s spending his summer break at his grandparents. I’m not sure if you know him but you know his grands, the Franceschis. And yes, he’s cute, hot _and_ fuckable. He’s actually kinda perfect” I really had to suppress a dreamy sigh, wouldn’t want to sound like a complete teenage girl.

“He’s the Franceschi’s grandson? Huh, never knew they had one”

“As far as I know they also have a granddaughter. But I doubt you’d know him, even I didn’t know him when we first met”

“So you already made a move on him?”

“Hell no! I don’t even know if he’s interested”

“Well then, what did you do?”

“He kinda ran into me the first day but it was nothing special ‘cause we didn’t talk much. The next day I met him again at the convenience store I work at and later that night at the bar and we kinda flirted a little but it was pretty harmless. On the anniversary (we all referred to my parents’ death day as _the anniversary_ ) we drove to Sheffield with his grandparents to this music convention. And yesterday we went swimming in the lake and I might have tackled him and might have almost kissed him…” I looked down quickly, trying to hide the slight blush on my cheeks.

“Well, why didn’t you kiss him?” Ok, hold on. So I expected Matt to totally freak out about the fact that I had met someone or over the fact that I almost kissed him but I _did not_ expect him to just calmly ask me why I didn’t kiss Josh. Because that was a question I couldn’t fully answer myself.

“I couldn’t just kiss him. What if he’s taken? What if he doesn’t like me? What if he’s not even gay?! He was already freaked out enough and probably doesn’t want to talk to me, like, _ever again_ , I don’t need him to freak out and think I just want in his pants or something” I finished my little rant, receiving another one of Matt’s signature looks: _You’ve got to be kidding me_.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Oliver. You two _flirted_ and you still think he’s not interested? Straight guys don’t just go and flirt with other _men_. They do this with _women_. Because they like _vagina_. Josh’s obviously into dick or else he wouldn’t flirt back. That also answers the question as to whether he likes you or not. He might be taken, but if he is I don’t want you to hang out with him anymore cause he’s obviously a complete slut when he goes out to hit on other people while he has a boyfriend” Matt Nicholls, being protective as ever.

“You think so?” Honestly, I still wasn’t convinced.

“I think so. And now give me a pen so I can give my number to the cute waitress that apparently has a crush on me”

~~~

Matt’s words had been ringing in my head all day long. Not the ones about the waitress but the ones about Josh. What he said did make sense. Of course I wasn’t able to believe it completely because I’m just an insecure twat but still…there was this tiny little chance that he was right. And that’d be awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay just so you know this work has originally been posted on mibba. it's already finished with an almost finished sequel, so it's just a matter of uploading it on here. but anyway, thanks to all of you for reading and leaving nice comments and kudos c:


	9. Josh.

„It’s just not fair, you know?“ Oli said while popping a grape in his mouth. We were at the lake again, sitting on his red and white checkered blanket and having a nice little picnic. This time without almost kisses and awkward tension. Since his last visit in Sheffield Oli was generally more relaxed and calm which was pretty nice.

“What’s not fair?” I asked, taking a sip from my ice tea.

“That you know pretty much everything about me but I hardly know anything about you”

Oh. That’s what he was getting at. I still felt uncomfortable telling about my life and how fucked up I was (not in the depressed way but in my way…you know what I mean) but I had to admit that he was very right.

“C’mon Josh, I told you that I fucking _cut_ myself, ‘m pretty sure your story isn’t that bad”

Well, it wasn’t. The problem was just that my problems were fucking pathetic, at least compared to his. I still had a functioning family and I didn’t have to care for any siblings and my life was just _fabulous_ and I _decided_ to be a total prick, not just towards my teachers and stuff but also towards my parents who were nothing but loving and caring.

“Well, it’s kinda boring. Like…I don’t know…”

Oli chuckled. “Really Josh? I mean I know there’s a reason why you’re here and it’s certainly not because your parents died ‘cause your grandparents would’ve told me. So since you’re not going to tell me, I’m just gonna take a wild guess and say that you’ve caused your parents a little bit of trouble and they sent you here so that you could ‘get some manners’”

I gawked at him. Like, seriously, how did he fucking know all of this?! Like, he even used _the exact same words_ as my dad. Oli laughed.

“Don’t look at me like that! It wasn’t that hard to guess, y’know it’s kind of… _uncommon_ for a seventeen year old to walk around without a phone or a laptop and spending eight weeks of your summer break in such a hick town while you could be in London going to a different party every night. It’s really not hard to figure out” He was definitely too smart for his own good.

“Uh…yeah, well, you’re right. Max, my best friend, and I kinda befriended the really cool kids at school and now we’re basically the most popular gang in town. Like, everybody wants to hang out with us. And you have to keep this image up, like, being immortal and independent and not giving a shit about school or your grades or your health for that matter. And I did. I went out every weekend to get drunk, I started smoking and did some drugs like pot and acid, which I’m totally not doing again, like _ever_. I started to talk back to the teachers and my sass-level increased by, like, a million. I did nothing for school, and by nothing I mean _nothing_ , like, I wasn’t even _there_ for most of the time. I stayed away from home for days, the longest being a week and my parents had no clue where I was. And I did that the whole year. It’s a miracle I even passed Lower Sixth. And, as you said, my parents were kinda tired of my shit and sent me here. Without my laptop, without my phone. To leave me without a single chance to contact any of my friends was pretty unnecessary in my eyes, like, they could at least let me contact Max. Anyway, here I am now for the next five and a half weeks”

I finished my little story, carefully looking up at Oli. He probably thought I was a total twat right now.

“And was that really _that_ hard?” He just asked, taking another bite from his sandwich.

“Not really. I was just worried about you judging me”

“Really? I mean, _really_?” He gave me an incredulous look, “I told you about my parents’ death and me hurting myself and you didn’t judge me, so why would I judge you?”

Ok, he got a point.

“I guess you’re right” I muttered, still looking down.

“I _am_ right. Now, what would you think about going to Sheffield with me this weekend?” He asked as casual as possible. My mind automatically started racing. Go to Sheffield? With him? The whole weekend? To do what? Make out and have sex and be happy?!

“What for?”

“Well, I sorted through my parents’ stuff and there are a couple of things I don’t want to keep but they’re too nice to just throw them away. So I thought I could sell them at the little yard sale at my apartment complex in Sheffield. My best friend Matt’s going to help me but I could probably use another pair of hands so I thought I’d ask you. By the way, can you drive?”

“I’m not eighteen yet, so I technically can’t. But I already got my license since my birthday’s in a week (holy shit!). And yeah, I’d love to help you (and spend a whole weekend with you). What about Tom, though? Won’t I bother him?”

“Oh, he’s camping with a couple of friends over the weekend, so you can even sleep in his room. Wait, so you’re turning eighteen in a week? When’s your birthday?”

“August 7th”

“Huh, so I have to get you a present _and_ organize a party” See, this is why I don’t tell other people when my birthday is. They just want to throw a party and shit and I don’t want that.

“You really don’t. I honestly don’t feel like presents and a party”

“Yeah, we’ll see. So, you’re coming. That’s good, thank you! And I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be a problem if you drove since your birthday is so close. Maybe we don’t even need a third driver...we’ll see. Anyway, you wanna go for another swim? I’m feeling kinda hot here” Well, maybe that’s because you fucking are. Like, mouth-watering, dick-twitching, hard-getting, I-wanna-fuck-your-brains-out hot. But that’s beside the point.

Before I could even answer him Oli had already taken off towards the pier, only turning around to make a _come fucking on lame ass_ -motion towards me. I sighed and followed him to the end of the dock, looking at the cold water discontently.

“What? Is the water too cold again?” Oli asked teasingly.

“No. It’s _always_ too fucking cold” I muttered, making a face at the dark surface.

“You are such a pussy” Oli remarked before jumping in. I looked angrily at the waves he caused before following him into the cool liquid.

I’m not a pussy.

~~~

“Hey Josh, how was your day?” Ma greeted me as I entered the living room where my grandparents were watching some TV show.

“It was good. Can I ask you something?”

“Fire away!”

“Can I go up to Sheffield with Oli this weekend? Like, the whole weekend?” Ma and pa exchanged knowing glances. “C’mon guys, it’s not what you’re thinking! I have a boyfriend, remember? Oli just needs some help and he asked me” Another knowing glance was exchanged. “Not that kind of help! He just said he needs another pair of hands” They looked at each other once again. I was getting frustrated. “Really? I mean, really?! If you’re being like that I’m going upstairs” I huffed, already turning around to go upstairs.

“Oh, come on Joshua, we were just messing with you! What do you have to help Oliver with?” Pa called after me, making me return to the living room.

“He wants to sell his parents’ stuff at the yard sell his apartment complex is having. Like the things he doesn’t want to keep but are too nice to throw away. His friend is already helping him, but he said he could use some more. I’d just spend the whole weekend at his flat in Sheffield since Tom is out camping and I’d be back by Sunday night”

“So, Tom’s not there…?”

“Really ma?! Are we really going there again?”

“No, I’m just kidding. You can go if you want to. And you could tell us what you want for your birthday next week. Your parents sent us their presents for you but we still don’t know what to get you”  
Great, more birthday related things. It wasn’t like Oli hadn’t already bugged me all day about my birthday. It’s not even that big of a deal, so what I was turning eighteen, I still had to finish school before I could move out or anything.

“You really don’t have to get me anything. And I don’t want a party. And I don’t want my parents’ presents. I just want to be alone and wallow in self-pity because I have to spend my 18th birthday without my best friends and I’m not getting any birthday sex”

“Oh, I’m sure Oliver would jump in for that” Pa winked and I had to fight a huge blush because thinking about Oli like that in front of my grandparents? Just no. Not good at all.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. I’m going up to take a shower. Call me for dinner, yeah?”

With that I turned around, picked up my previously carelessly dropped bag and made my way up to my room. I carelessly dropped my bag once again, not like there was anything interesting in there. I entered the en suite, turning on the water to let it heat up and stripping out of my clothes. My hair slightly smelled like lake and _ew_ I should definitely wash that. When the water was hot enough (which wasn’t that hot since it was like thirty degrees out and I totally preferred cold showers in that weather) I stepped under the medium temperatured spray of water which was just _so much nicer_ than the stupid stinky lake water. Although I really did enjoy swimming with Oli. Mostly because of seeing him half naked though. I quickly washed my hair - the fishy smell really started to annoy me – and rinsed my skin with some soap to get completely rid of the lake smell.

My thoughts wandered back to Oli and to what he said today. Not sure if he noticed, but we were about to spend a whole weekend together. _Alone_. _Without anyone around_. _With a shitload of sexual tension between us_. It was destined to go wrong.

My mind automatically returned to the dream I had a few days back. I remembered the way Oli touched me, how his hands felt on my hot skin, how fucking amazing he felt inside of me, how I almost blacked out from the amount of pleasure I felt, how his lips were on mine, hot and hungry, his teeth abusing my lip and neck, leaving purple bruises everywhere. My hands started to wander down my chest, following the imaginary path Oli had drawn on my skin before. I closed my right hand around my now hard dick, using the flowing water as makeshift lube, starting to pump myself slowly. I imagined it to be Oli’s hand, thought about his lips on my chest, his teeth on my collarbone, his thumb running over the head of my cock, collecting the precum. I let out a strangled noise that faintly sounded like a moan, thinking of Oli kneeling down in front of me, my dick on eyelevel. How he would slowly take me into his mouth, just sucking on the head, swirling his tongue over the slit. A deep groan left my throat, sounding loud and shallow in the empty bathroom. My pants and small moans were the only sounds besides the running water, barely audible over the patter of the lukewarm spray. My movements sped up, my breathing becoming ragged, getting caught in my throat from time to time. Little calls of Oli’s name now mixed between the moans and profanities leaving my lips. I was getting close and with a last hard squeeze and a brush over the head I came, hard, letting out a loud moan that strongly sounded like ‘Oli’.

I stepped out of the shower and turned off the water while coming down from my high. It wasn’t until I was back in my room and getting dressed again that I realized what I had done. My cheeks heated up immediately, making me blush a deep crimson because _holy fuck_ I had just jerked off to the thought of Oli. No, no, no, that was so not good. I had a fucking _boyfriend_ ; I couldn’t just masturbate to the thought of another guy. That was just not okay.

I suddenly felt really nauseous thinking about the weekend ahead. Oli and I already had an almost kiss, God knows what else could happen if we stayed in the same house for two days all by ourselves. I couldn’t just go and cheat on Dan, I’m not that kind of guy. I’m fucking faithful. And I liked Dan. I refused to say that I loved him because we’d only been together for a month and I honestly wasn’t sure whether I loved him or not but I definitely _cared_ for him. And I didn’t want to hurt him. I really needed to talk to Max right now.

~~~

“Hey ma, can I use the phone real quick? I really need to talk to Max right now” My grandparents knew who Max was and they knew that I only needed to talk to him badly when something was up.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Are you okay, Josh?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks” I quickly said before rushing back upstairs.

I closed the door behind me and let myself fall on my bed, dialing the all to familiar number.

_“Hello?”_ Max picked up on the third ring.

“Hey Max, this is Josh”

_“Oh, hey Josh! Thought you weren’t allowed to talk to us? How are you doing?”_

“Technically I’m not but this is an emergency. I really need your help right now”

_“Oh my God, are you okay?”_ Worry seeped through Max’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Kinda”

_“Well, what’s wrong?”_

“I met a guy”

_“Oh Josh”_ See, that’s why Max’s my best friend. I just need to say a couple words and he’d already know what’s up.

“Yeah. His name’s Oli and he’s like perfect. I mean besides being hot. It’s just, he’s so adorable and caring and I can have these movie nights were you just cuddle and be stupid together without it all ending with sex. And we have the same taste in music. It’s like we are made for each other”

_“So he’s everything Dan isn’t and has everything you’re missing on Dan”_

“Pretty much. And the problem is that he likes me. I think. I mean it’s pretty obvious cause we always flirt in this really playful way and we hang out all the time and go swimming in the lake and have picnics and go to music conventions and last Sunday we almost kissed and I had a wet dream about him an I just jerked off in the shower thinking about him and fucking shouting _his name_ when I came”

_“Oh. Well that’s really bad”_ Another good thing about Max. He just tells you when something’s bad and doesn’t try to give you the _don’t worry, it’ll get better_ -talk. And he’s not grossed out when I tell him about jerking off under the shower.

_“You know you can’t just break up with Dan. He’ll kill you”_

I sighed. “Yes, I know”

_“But you really seem to like this Oli guy. How did you guys almost kiss?”_

“We were at the lake and just got out of the water and we raced back to the blanket. But I cheated and took off before him and so he tackled me to the ground and pinned my hands above my head and kinda straddled my waist and suddenly our faces were like _really_ close and he started to lean in and our lips were only like a millimeter away and then he snapped out of it and scrambled back. The tension afterwards was _beyond_ awkward”

_“I can imagine. But you really wanted him to kiss you, right?”_

“Yeah, and he obviously wanted to kiss me”

_“Did you tell him about your wet dream?”_

“Course not, c’mon Max!”

_“Maybe it would speed things up a little bit”_

“Or maybe he’d think I’m a crazy pervert and not talk to me again!”

_“Probably not. You know you really can’t start anything with him because of Dan right? You can’t just hurt him like that”_

“I know. The worst is that I’m spending the next weekend with Oli in Sheffield though and we’re gonna be all by ourselves cause his little brother is out camping with friends. I don’t know if I can handle being alone with him for two days, not after what just  
happened in the shower”

_“Whoa, yeah, that’s not going to be easy. Why are you even spending the weekend with him?”_

“His parents died last year and he cleaned up their old house so it can go on sale again. And he wants to sell the things he doesn’t want to keep but that are too good to throw away at the yard sale that’s held at his apartment complex next weekend. And he needs a little help with getting everything up to Sheffield”

_“Oh, that sucks. But doesn’t he have friends that could help him? I mean, besides you”_

“Yeah, but they’re all kind of busy so only one of them is helping. That’s why he asked me”

_“Oh, ok. Well, I mean, unless you want to chicken out and tell him that you suddenly have plans I can’t really help you. Just try to keep your mind busy with other things and look away whenever he undresses himself in front of you. Don’t respond when he comes at you and ignore any kind of sexual innuendo. And if something should happen, don’t tell Dan_ or _me. You know I’d do anything for you but I hate lying to my friends”_

“Yeah, I know. Thanks though. I know you can’t really do anything but talking to somebody about it helps”

_“Sure thing, bro. You know you can count on me”_

“Yeah, I do. I guess I’ll see you in five weeks”

_“I’ll try to call you on your birthday. Don’t bore yourself to death”_ We laughed.

“You too. See ya”

_“Yeah, see ya”_ We ended the call and I dropped the phone next to me on the bed. A sigh escaped my lips while I stared up at the white ceiling. I was in deep shit. Not even Max could help me, and he can always help, so I was definitely in some deep shit. And there was no way out ‘cause I could feel myself falling for Oli more and more with each passing day. There was nothing I could do against it other than staying away from him. Which I couldn’t do cause then I’d just hurt him and I’d have to give him a reason why. _“I’m sorry but we can’t hang out anymore because I’m totally falling in love with you and I’m having wet dreams about you while I got a boyfriend back in London that I can’t break up with so goodbye, see you never again”_ Yeah, no. Didn’t quite work like that.

I let out another exasperated sigh, turning around in my bed, deciding to watch a little bit of TV before going to sleep. I knew my grandparents had called me down for dinner a while ago but I didn’t feel too hungry anymore. I zapped through the channels jumping from one romantic comedy to the next, seeing happy couples everywhere, kissing, hugging, going out on dates, smiling, laughing, fucking and argh it was just too much fucking happiness everywhere. Unnerved I turned off the TV, just lying there didn’t sound too bad either. After what felt like an eternity filled with thoughts about Dan and Oli, about today and the last two weeks, about what Max said and what Oli said, about my wet dream and what happened today in the shower I finally found my long desired sleep.


	10. Oli.

Josh arrived in front of my apartment at nine in the morning the next Saturday, a large duffel bag slung across his shoulder. He looked tired and gripped tightly onto a cup with what smelled like coffee. Stupid teenagers, not used to getting up early. Just kidding, I was exactly the same before I had to manage work, Tom and university at once. Back when my parents were still alive. But let’s not think about that, this was supposed to be a fun weekend.

“Was it really necessary to meet up at nine? It’s like the fucking middle of the night” Josh complained. Which he did quite a lot. He was lucky that I liked him so much or else I would’ve already got rid of him. He could be an annoying twat sometimes.

“Yes, it was, diva (he shot me a dirty glare at the nickname. I just smiled at him sweetly). Matt should arrive at any minute”

I was barely able to finish my sentence when a car horn honked behind us. Apparently Matt had rented a large moving van.  
Perfect. That way everything would fit without us having to make multiple runs between the cities (or rather town in the second case). He got out of the car, making his way towards Josh and I.

“Oli! Can’t wait for the summer to end so you spent _all your time_ in Sheffield again! Sucks not being able to see you whenever I want!” He said while pulling me into a tight hug. Typical Matt, always good for exaggerations.

“Won’t be too long, only five more weeks. Oh, and thanks for getting a moving van and doing something really smart once in your lifetime”

“Haha, well fuck you, too!”

“C’mon Matt, you know I love you” Only now did I notice that Josh was still standing beside us, looking slightly confused. “Oh, I totally forgot! Matt, meet Josh. Josh, Matt”

“Ooo, so you’re the famous Josh Oli’s talking about pretty much all the time?”

“Matt!” I hissed, jabbing him in the side with my elbow, blushing furiously. Josh laughed.

“Oh, so he talks about me? A lot?”

“Yeah, like 24/7. He won’t shut up about you! I literally have to force him to hmpf mpf…” I put my hand over Matt’s mouth, keeping him from spilling more embarrassing details. I knew that they weren’t even true but I didn’t want Josh to think of me as some kind of weirdo. He just laughed though, looking at us amusedly. I removed my hand from Matt’s mouth again.

“Dude! That was not necessary! Oh, by the way, you remember that waitress? Yeah, she totally called me two days ago and we’re going out next week!”

“Really? That’s cool. You’re welcome!”

“Uhm, I really don’t want to disturb your reunion after _years_ of absence but shouldn’t we get going? Or did I just have to get up that early for your amusement?” Josh chimed in, interrupting our little chat.

“You’re right, we should. You can put your stuff in my car, it’s open. Matt, open up the van so we can start to pack it”

And so we did. It took a lot longer than previously anticipated, there was way more stuff than I had originally thought. By the time we were finally done and ready to go to Sheffield it was three in the afternoon and we were sweating like crazy.

“God, Oli why the fuck did you have to do this shit in the fucking summer?! I’m fucking dying from heat exhaustion!” Why were all of my friends such pussies? What did I do to deserve this?!

“He’s kinda right, y’know. You could’ve done it in Fall or Spring” Josh added.

“Oh yeah, when I’m in school and have to study for exams? Excellent idea” They started to annoy me with their constant whining. “So, since the van and my car are packed and we’re all done with being wimps I’d say we start. Matt, are you driving the van and Josh is riding shotgun in my car?” They both nodded, entering their assigned cars. Matt started up the van when I locked the front door of my parents’ house and got into my own car. We pulled out of the driveway and made our way up to Sheffield.

~~~

“I’m sorry for being so annoying this morning”

I looked over at Josh who was staring out of the car window.

“’S no problem. I know working is kinda annoying and hard for a diva like you” Another glare was shot at me and I just winked at him.

“Stop calling me a diva!”

“Yeah, yeah, calm down. I wasn’t being serious” I held my hands up defensively before putting them back down on the steering wheel to avoid an accident. Wouldn’t want to end like my parents, especially not with Josh next to me.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just…I get that a lot. Like, a lot lot. And I’m really tired of it ‘cause I don’t whine more than anybody else yet I’m the one called a diva. My boy- (he cleared his throat), my _friend_ is a much bigger diva than I am, like, if something doesn’t go his way he actually throws a tantrum but he’s perfectly normal while I’m the diva. It’s fucking annoying”

Ok, I could understand why he always got so pissed about being called a ‘diva’. Wait, was he just about to say his boyfriend?! Maybe my ears tricked me. Yeah, they probably did. Or he wanted to say boyfriend but realized that they broke up a while ago and weren’t dating anymore. Something like that. He was definitely not in a relationship right now. He would’ve told me.

~~~

We finally arrived at my apartment in Sheffield after almost two hours. Normally it’d only be one. Stupid traffic. Matt was already there, getting out of the van.

“Are we going to unpack today? It’s almost six and I kinda have places to be” Mat said as he approached me.

“Places to be? Is this place called Kelly and looks like a cute waitress that works at _Sally’s_?”

“Pretty much. So I’m off, see you tomorrow at nine again to set everything up?”

“Yup. See you tomorrow” We hugged shortly before Matt disappeared. I turned around to look at an exhausted looking Josh.

“You hungry? We could go out for dinner” I suggested but he just shook his head.

“Honestly I just want to shower and go to bed. Maybe we could order some pizza?”

“Sounds like a plan” I smiled brightly at him, “Let’s go inside then so you can take a shower while I order our dinner”

We entered the lobby of my apartment building, making our way over to the elevator. The silence inside while we went up the six floors was surprisingly comfortable, not as awkward as expected. The doors opened and I took Josh’s bag from the floor, carrying it for him to my door, like the real gentleman I am deep inside. I could see a small blush form on his cheeks and I smiled to myself. He was just so cute. I honestly didn’t quite know how we were supposed to spend a whole weekend together without it getting awkward or us ending up in bed together. There was just too much tension between us.

I finally managed to unlock and open the door, the stupid keys wouldn’t turn.

“So, this is my place. Well, Tom and I’s but he’s not here so it’s my place for now. Let me show you his – or your – room and the bathroom so you can take your shower”

I lead him down the hall to Tom’s room, showing him around a little, telling him what he was allowed to touch and what not (Tom gave me precise directions before he left yesterday) before taking him to the bathroom where I left him alone. Shortly after I could hear the shower running and I decided to call the pizza delivery to order two pizzas for us. Afterwards I walked over to the living room, sitting down and turning on the TV although I didn’t pay much attention. My mind was wandering back to Josh and to what Matt had said earlier this week.

_“Josh’s obviously into dick or else he wouldn’t flirt back. That also answers the question as to whether he likes you or not”_

According to him Josh was totally into me. I knew it was kinda obvious just from the way we acted around each other but maybe he was just doing it to be nice? Maybe he wasn’t even interested and just faked it to make me feel better? Help the poor depressed boy that lost his parents? Maybe he just pitied me? What if this whole weekend happened just out of pity? What if he hated me but helped me because his grandparents forced him to? Is that why he hung out with me, because his grandparents forced him? Or because he felt sorry for me?

“Hey Oli, you alright?” I flinched, surprised by Josh suddenly standing in front of me. I was so absorbed into my destructive thoughts that I didn’t even notice him getting out of the shower. Before I could answer though the doorbell rang.

“Must be the pizza. Want me to get it?” He asked, already making his way towards the door.

“No, no, it’s fine, I’ll get it” I said, jumping up from the couch and running to the door. He frowned but sat down on the couch. I got back, two pizza cartons and a large bottle of soda in my hands.

“I didn’t know what to get you, so I got you a normal one, Margarita it’s called, I think? Anyway, I got soda. Wanna share a bottle or should I get glasses? I probably should, you’re my guest after all and-“

“Oli, are you sure you’re okay?” Josh gave me a worried look.

“Yeah, I’m good”

“Okay, then why don’t you sit down here with me and we watch some movie while eating our pizza?” I just nodded, not trusting my voice, afraid I’d just start to ramble again if I tried to say anything. And I just noticed how cute his hair was when it was wet, the ends were all tousled and he looked even more like he just got out of bed. I tore myself out of my stare before he could notice, sitting down next to him. Stupid anxiety. Making me act all stupid and anxious even if nothing was wrong. Josh wasn’t the kind of guy to hang out with people out of pity. He either liked you or not. And if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be around you. I learned that much from knowing him for a few weeks.

“Oli, you’re doing it again”

“What? I do what again?”

“Zoning out while chewing on your thumb nail. You should chew on your pizza instead and calm down a little. You’ve been acting all weird since I got out of that shower but I’m not going to ask what’s wrong again ‘cause you just wouldn’t answer me anyway. So please, please stop being all jumpy and anxious now. This weekend was supposed to be fun and not nerve wrecking torture”

“Yeah, you’re right. ‘M sorry. So what movie do you wanna watch?”

Josh chuckled. “We already _are_ watching a movie. _Friends with Benefits_. Thought some Mila Kunis would help calm your nerves. Or Justin Timberlake, whichever you prefer” Well, if I hadn’t said it before, Josh was fucking awesome.

“Honestly I’m more into guys but I have to say that Mila Kunis is fucking hot. Way more than JT”

“Really? Is she even hotter than me?” He looked at me with a slight pout.

“Well, she definitely has nicer boobs than you”

“Hey, don’t say anything against my mantits! Took me long enough to grow them”

“Oh, I am so sorry. Didn’t know you care so much about them. On the other hand, they probably suit your mangina really well” I smirked at him.

“They’d suit yours much better” He winked at me playfully but I still couldn’t fight the slight blush appearing on my cheeks.

~~~

The evening had gone by quickly yet we were still sitting on the couch, watching stupid movie after stupid movie. We were both tired from the day but neither of us wanted to go to bed, wanted to leave the other.

I felt the couch shift and suddenly Josh’s head was against my shoulder, his body snuggling up to me. I tensed slightly but still put my arm around his shoulder, pulling his body closer to mine, letting his head rest on my chest. He sighed happily, making a small smile appear on my face in return.

We stayed in that position and after a while I could hear little snores emitting from Josh’s slightly agape mouth. It was so adorable. Like, more adorable than puppies. Which is pretty adorable. His body went a little limp against mine and his head started to slide down from my chest to my stomach until he was lying on my crotch. I really wanted to move his head, afraid of what he might say or think when he woke up again and not comfortable with where his head was lying because, _hello_ , it was my fucking crotch. His head should only be there if he gave me a blowjob. Oh no Oli, don’t even think like that, you’ll just get a boner and that’ll be hard to explain. As uncomfortable as I was, I couldn’t move his head without waking him up and I didn’t want to do that ‘cause he looked really peaceful. I know it’s creepy to watch other people sleep but he was lying _]on top of me_ so it was justified. He had this really relaxed expression on his face, like he was completely at ease, in peace with himself and the world.

However, it was 1:00am and I was really tired. And sleeping while sitting is just uncomfortable, Josh sleeping in my lap or not. I tried to lift up his head a little bit, just so that I could move and I actually managed to lie down next to him on the couch without waking him up. As soon as I lied down he immediately snuggled up to me again, burying his head in the crook of my neck, draping an arm over my chest. I put my arms around his shoulder and waist, pulling him closer to me. I closed my eyes, nose buried in his disheveled hair, breathing in his scent, and listened to his even breathing before falling asleep.


	11. Josh.

I woke up slightly disoriented with a strange yet familiar smell in my nose and a pair of arms wrapped around me tightly. Huh, weird, Dan wasn’t one for cuddling. I moved my head out of the crook of his neck and looked at him just to notice that it wasn’t Dan. It was Oli. He was cuddling me. On the couch. And fuck did he look cute when he was asleep. His long lashes fanned over his slightly rosy cheeks while his bangs splayed over his forehead, falling into his eyes. I raised my hand and swept them away lightly, careful not to wake him. I wasn’t exactly sure how we ended up like this, all cuddled up. I only remembered leaning into him and resting my head on his shoulder as the night went on and I grew tired more and more, still not wanting to leave him though.

His behavior was off last night. I didn’t know what had caused it but it must’ve been his depression or anxiety kicking in. Probably over something really small and stupid. I wasn’t exactly familiar with either one, only knowing a couple of symptoms from my sister. She had been dealing with the same shit for a while a couple years back but I’ve been too little to remember anything. And now she lived and worked in Germany where she had met a really nice guy that she married last year.

I stayed in the same position, watching Oli sleep peacefully. It was nice to see him like that, so pure, without any tension or flirting or sexual innuendos or playful fighting. It was like seeing him without a mask, without faked smiles, without that hurt look in his eyes. He was completely at ease, no worries in the world. I suddenly had the urge to make him be like that all the time, to make his depression and anxiety go away, to take all the stress from handling his and Tom’s life away and just let him be a normal nineteen year old again.

He stirred in his sleep, little noises escaping his lips before he slowly opened his eyes, drowsily looking at me. God, he was so fucking adorable.

“Morning” He said, voice still scratchy from sleep. I tried not to think about it too hard but his morning voice was fucking sexy. I could so get used to waking up to that every morning.

“Morning” I smiled at him, receiving a smile in return. “So, not to be rude or anything, but why exactly are we all cuddled up?”

It seemed like Oli just now noticed the position we were in, quickly removing his arms from around me but putting them back just as fast to keep me from falling off the couch.

“Hey, that was a simple question, no reason to push me off the couch” I laughed, seeing a blush creep onto his cheeks.

“Sorry. To answer your question, we uh, well you cuddled up to me last night, not sure if you still remember…(I nodded to show him that I did, in fact, remember)…oh, you do, well, good, anyway so you fell asleep and your head kinda…uhm…well it kinda slipped down my torso and you were kinda lying on my crotch and it was already one and I was tired and didn’t want to have you lie on my crotch all night so I moved you and lied down and then you snuggled up to me again, unconsciously, and we fell asleep like that…” He stuttered out, his cheeks growing darker the more he said. It made me smile just from how cute he was. Shit, I was really falling for that boy.

“Calm down, it’s no big deal. It’d just be nice if you could let me go. I really need to pee” He quickly pulled his arms back once again, this time without me almost falling off the couch. I was prepared. I got up and went to the bathroom doing my business before returning to the living room. Oli was standing in the middle stretching, his shirt riding up his stomach, revealing his protruding hipbones and the V-shape that went down to his…you know. Although I’d seen it multiple times before from going swimming I still couldn’t refrain myself from staring. He was just so unbelievably hot.

“What time is it?” He asked between little yawns.

“Uh, I don’t know, probably around nine/nine-thirty”

“Oh shit! We were supposed to meet up with Matt at nine to set everything up!”

Hm, well, that was inconvenient. I took a look at the clock of the DVD player and it was exactly 9:30am. Yeah, don’t ever try to trick my sense of time.

“Well, it’s 9:30. But don’t you think he would’ve rang the doorbell or called you if he was here already? He probably had a long night out with that waitress, so don’t worry. Why don’t you give him a quick call?”

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Could’ve got that myself actually” He laughed, “I’ll call him right now”

While Oli was on the phone I traipsed over to the kitchen, messing up my already messy hair, starting to rummage through his cabinets in search for something to make for breakfast. I found a half empty box of pancake mix and yeah, that’d do. I wasn’t a good cook but pancakes I could handle. Shortly after the air was filled with the smell of baked pancakes, attracting Oli and making him come into the kitchen.

“So what did Matt say?”

“You were right, he is still at Kelly’s. He’ll be over in thirty minutes. So we got enough time to enjoy those pancakes of yours” He smiled brightly at me, happy about the fact that I had made him breakfast. It was adorable.

We ate breakfast quickly before getting dressed. It was shortly before ten when we decided to go downstairs a little early to start setting up. The people from the other apartments were already outside, either setting up, too or sitting behind booths, waiting for customers. Oli and I got a couple tables that were available and put them up for all the small stuff we had like old toys, dishes or silverware. We put the bigger stuff like furniture around the three tables, leaving enough room for three people to sit. By the time Matt actually arrived it was almost eleven and Oli and I had just finished.

“Hey mate, thanks for turning up. Your help was very much appreciated” Oli said sarcastically.

“Uh, yeah, well, I’m sorry, but Kelly kinda kept me busy, y’know” Matt awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. We all knew what “keeping busy” meant.

“Well, unless you really want to stay here and sell with us you can leave ‘cause Josh and I are pretty much done” You could sense that Oli was pissed at Matt’s unreliability and that Matt felt bad for not showing up.

“Uhm, I guess I get going then. Before I forget, there’s a party tonight at Lee’s house. The gang and a couple others are going to be there, in case you might want to come, too. There’ll be booze and music and weed and all that good stuff. Starts at eight” With that he threw another apologizing glance at Oli before turning around and leaving.

“Fucking unreliable twat” Oli cursed under his breath while putting the last prize tags on the appropriate items. Our booth was officially opened now and there were already a couple of potential buyers. They were especially interested in the antique furniture. Fucking hipsters.

~~~

The day went by quite uneventful although we sold everything we had. It was quite a nice amount of money. Oli tried to give me part of it for helping him out but I refused to take it. Though I always needed money I didn’t want any from Oli. He needed it way more than I did.

“You sure you don’t want me to pay you?” Oli asked for the umpteenth time. I gave him one of my signature _are you really serious right now?_ -looks.

“Yes, I am sure. Just like I was the last bazillion times you asked. Keep your money Oli, you need it more than I do”

“Fine, if you say so. So about that party Matt was talking about…you wanna go?” Wow, Oli was actually inviting me to a party. With alcohol and drugs. I probably shouldn’t go. When I was drunk I got really horny and with all the tension between us something bad would happen. And that would not be good. I didn’t want to break up with Dan, as much as I liked Oli. And I didn’t want to walk around with a secret as big as “I cheated on you” for the rest of my life. I was faithful, I didn’t cheat on anybody. Yet I still pushed all of those thoughts away.

“Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun”

What have I done?


	12. Josh.

I checked myself in the mirror once again, finally decided on what to wear after pondering about that question for the past hour. Oli and I were getting ready for that party Matt had told us about. Now I was stood in front of the mirror, taking in my appearance. I wore a plain ruby shirt with a jean jacket, legs clad in black skinny jeans and simple black vans on my feet. My hair was styled to perfection although it didn’t look like it. I still had this out of bed look. Which took hours to create because although you tried to look like you just got up you didn’t really want to look like it. It took years to master and was hard to pull off. Finally content I grabbed my phone, left my (or rather Tom’s) room and made my way down the hallway to the living room where Oli was already waiting.

As soon as I entered the living room my jaw literally dropped to floor level. Oli was hot. Like _touch me and you’ll get burned_ kinda hot. He made it impossibly hard to refrain from tearing his clothes off and fuck him into the next wall. He wore a white low-cut Of Mice  & Men tank top that showed off his prominent collarbones and let his colorful tattoos shine brightly with black skinnies hugging his legs. And when I say skinny I mean _skinny_. The _I’m fucking painted onto your legs_ kind. His dark chocolate colored hair swept over his forehead, hanging into his hazel eyes. To put it differently, he was gorgeous. Doubts were flooding my mind again. Just hanging out with Oli looking like that would be a mistake, inevitably leading to sex, going to a party was just downright insane. Not to mention that I get really horny when I’m drunk.

“You ready to go?” He asked when he noticed that I had entered the room.

I picked my jar up from the floor and cleared my throat awkwardly. “Y-yeah, I am”

“Good. Let’s go then” He gave me a bright smile before grabbing his phone and keys and leading the way out of the apartment.

~~~

A good thirty minutes later we were parked in front of a normal looking house with quite not normal surroundings. There was loud music blaring from speakers in- and outside with drunk people dancing and hungrily making out in the front yard. The whole space in front of the house was packed with cars.

“So, this is Lee’s house. He’s a really good friend of mine” Oli said explanatory.

“I thought there’d only be _a couple_ people. This looks like a full blown house party”

“Yeah, well, this is kinda what we call a couple people” Oli laughed before getting out, me following closely behind him. We reached the front door after a couple minutes of walking and avoiding drunks stumbling in our way. Oli just pushed the door open, no one would’ve heard the doorbell anyway over the loud music. The house was fucking packed with people dancing on the makeshift dance floor in the living room, others playing beer pong or truth or dare in the kitchen or making out in the hallway. Oli grabbed my hand and led me to the dining room where numerous bottles filled with alcohol were scattered around on the dining table. We each grabbed a red plastic cup filled with some kind of liquid before we went outside. There was a pool in the backyard, used by a few people, while another group sat in a semi-circle farther away. Oli walked towards them, greeting them with a “Hey guys!”

“Hi Oli. Didn’t know you’d bring your boyfriend” A small guy with longish hair and a grey beanie said. Oli’s eyes flew down to our still linked hands, pulling his away quickly.

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend. This is Josh, a friend of mine. Josh, these are my best friends, Lee, Jordan, Vegan (though I was pretty sure that wasn’t his real name) and you already know Matt” He pointed at them one after one, Lee being the short guy that called me Oli’s boyfriend (he already got sympathy points for that). Jordan was a tall guy with long limbs and short dark hair and Vegan was kinda broad with blond hair. They were all scattered with tattoos, none of them had as many as Oli though. And no one was as hot as Oli. Obviously.

~~~

An hour later we were all drunk off our asses and high as a kite. Oli and I had got a hold of the loveseat which gave me a reason to snuggle up into him, my head resting on his chest and his arm drawn securely around my shoulder. A joint was passed between the six of us and it was all just really nice. I could’ve stayed like that forever.

“Hey guys, let’s play Truth or Dare” Jordan spoke up. His voice sounded muffled, like there was a thick layer of fog between us. The perks of being high. Approving mumbling rose around the circle, we were all okay with the idea of playing a little game.

“I’ll start. Vegan, truth or dare?” Jordan said, looking at him expectantly.

“Uhm…dare”

“Okay, I dare you…to walk up to Stacey Donovan and ask her out!” He said smugly while Vegan blushed a deep shade of crimson.

“He’s had a crush on her since eleventh grade” Oli muttered into my ear and yeah, that explained why he blushed. Nonetheless he got up and walked up to a tall girl with red hair. She was pretty I had to admit but I still preferred guys. Especially Oli.

“Hey Oli?” I raised my head slightly to look up at him.

“Hm?”

“I wanna sail to Antarctica. Will you sail with me?” I had no clue where this idea suddenly came from and why I asked him to come with me and why it had to be fucking [i]Antarctica[/i] because honestly, it was just a freezing shithole but the question was out and I couldn’t take it back.

“Why would you wanna go to Antarctica?” Oli chuckled.

“I don’t know. ‘Twas just an idea”

“Oh. Well then, yes, I’d like to go to Antarctica with you”

Before I could answer again Vegan (or Matt, as I now knew) came back, a huge smile on his face.

“Jordan, you might be a little shithole most of the time but you did something right this time. She said yes!”

We all chuckled at Vegan’s dreamy sigh.

“Anyway, my turn. Josh, truth or dare?” Vegan turned his head towards us. I thought for a second. I didn’t want to pick truth because they’d just ask me something really embarrassing but I also didn’t want to get up for a dare. Oli was just too comfortable and I was lazy.

“Truth”

“Okay, let me think…what is the dirtiest and kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?”

“I never did anything kinky, but I’d really like to be spanked” A round of ‘Oohs’ passed but I was way too drunk to care.

“Hey Oli, don’t forget to spank Josh nice ‘n hard when you two get in on tonight!” Matt called and that actually left me as well as Oli blushing deeply. We’ve been trying to convince them that we weren’t together the whole evening but nobody believed us.

Our little game continued for a couple more minutes until it was Matt’s turn and he picked Oli.

“Hey Oli, truth or dare?”

“Dare”

“Good,” A devilish grin spread across Matt’s face. This was so not good. “I dare you to kiss Josh. And I mean an actual kiss. With tongue and all that shit”

“’Kay, fine” Was Oli’s simple response. No, nobody bothered to ask how I felt about this. Oli shifted underneath me, destroying our perfectly comfortable position, sitting up so that he was facing me. His hand rose up to cup my cheek while the other rested on my waist. He stared deeply into my eyes, his swimming with lust and desire and _want_ , his face inching closer to mine slowly. I could feel everyone’s eyes resting on us, watching our every move. It was kinda weird but hot at the same time. Our faces were only centimeters away now, just like they were a few days ago at the lake. His hot breath fanned over my lips, our noses touching lightly. I waited impatiently for him to finally close the space, my eyes fluttering closed and my breath hitching in my throat. The tension was thicker that Rapunzel’s hair and then it finally snapped, Oli crashing our lips together in that long awaited kiss. My hands flew up to his neck, tangling in the short strands of hair, pulling him impossibly closer. Our lips were pressed together in a passionate kiss, moving slowly against each other. A little moan escaped from my parted lips as Oli started to suck and bite on my lower lip, pulling on it slightly. Shortly after his tongue prodded at it, begging me for entrance which I gladly granted. He licked all around my mouth before jutting our tongues together, letting them tangle in a fight for dominance. I let him win just to feel him lick all around my mouth again, teeth scraping against my tongue. His hands wandered lower to my ass, pulling me up into his lap so that I straddled his thighs. I faintly heard the other guys saying something unintelligible but nothing mattered at the moment because it was just me and Oli and our lips moving together and I had waited so fucking long for this moment and didn’t want it to leave any time soon. But we had to pull away eventually, the urge to breath becoming unbearable. Oli pulled away first, resting our foreheads together, gasping for air while a small and sincere smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. We stayed like that for a while, our ragged breathing the only sound audible, eyes closed, foreheads rested together, noses touching, huge smiles on our faces.

When we opened our eyes again everyone was gone. The horizon got gradually lighter, the sun slowly rising. I looked around, taking in the scene before me: people were passed out on garden furniture, some still wet from the pool, all of them still in their clothes (thankfully). Trash was thrown everywhere, littering the green grass, the porch and the pool. Matt was lying in the chair next to us, slight snores leaving his opened mouth. Surprising how much time can pass while no time passes at all.

No words were spoken between us, Oli simply lied down, patting the space next to him. I took it, immediately cuddling up into his chest, taking in his scent, while his arms wound around my shoulders, keeping me in place. We fell asleep like that, like we did on his couch the night before and like I wanted it to be for the rest of my life.


	13. Josh.

It was raining. No, let me rephrase that. It was pouring. Water was flowing from the sky like there was no tomorrow, transforming the streets into rapid streams, destroying everything in their way, turning front yards into mud puddles, drowning flowers and plants. Luckily there was neither lightning nor thunder. I lied on my bed, watching random movies while ma and pa were out of town once again.

My birthday had been three days ago, on Wednesday. It went by pretty uneventful. I got an iPhone 5 from my parents with a total of two contacts in it (my parents’ and my grandparents’ numbers). I updated it to four by now, added Max’s as well as Oli’s. My grandparents got me a guitar which was really cool. Now I’d just have to learn how to play. I received phone calls from all my friends back in London as well as my parents. The only people that didn’t contact me were Dan and Oli. Dan was on vacation with his parents in Australia so that’s why he didn’t call. And I didn’t want him to call anyway. But the fact that Oli didn’t show up or at least called me kinda hurt. Like, a lot.

I finally admitted to myself that I didn’t like Dan for anything more than sex. And I admitted to myself that I liked Oli for everything, for sex, for cuddling, for making out, everything relationship-y. Okay, we hadn’t had sex yet but I was pretty sure he was amazing at it. It might sound cheesy but even after almost a week I could still feel his lips lingering on mine, our tongues tangling together in that heated, lust filled kiss. And I wanted it to happen again. I wanted it to go further. I wanted to be able to kiss him whenever I liked, to touch him wherever I liked, to fuck him, cuddle him, go on cute dates with him, maybe even move in with him. I wanted to wake up to his scratchy morning voice and disheveled hair every day, I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and wake up with him by my side, his arms securely wrapped around me.

I wanted to break up with Dan.

~~~

The clock read 2:30pm when the doorbell rang. I got up confusedly, who the fuck would visit me in weather like that?! It was still pouring outside. When I opened the door I was greeted by a soaked Oli, shivering from the rain and the cold, holding a plastic bag in his hand.

“H-hey, c-can I co-come in-n?” His teeth were chattering so bad that it was hard to understand him. I just opened the door wider and let him in. He started to say something else but I cut him off.

“Before you say anything you’re gonna take a shower. You’re soaked!” I led him upstairs, my hand on the small of his back to lightly push him along. When we entered my room I took the plastic bag from him and set it to the ground carefully before leading him to my en suite. I handed him a couple of towels and left so he could shower.

Fifteen minutes later Oli came back out, hair still tripping with a towel riding low on his hips. I had to refrain myself from biting my lip and staring, instead looking up to his eyes.

“Feeling better now?”

“Yeah, thanks. Could I borrow some of your clothes?”

“Sure.” I walked over to the dresser, pulling out a pair of boxers, an old shirt of mine and some sweatpants. He changed quickly, my clothes looking ridiculously big on him. He was just so skinny.

“So what exactly are you doing here? Not that I don’t want you to be here, I mean we haven’t seen each other in almost a week, but it’s fucking pouring outside and you probably walked here” I cocked my head to the side a little, looking at him questioningly.

He took a seat next to me on the bed before answering. “Well, I feel bad because I couldn’t be there on your birthday and I didn’t even call you so I made you a cake and thought I could bring it over” He made me a cake?! Oli walked over to the previously dropped plastic bag, taking out a container and handing it to me. I opened it, making a slightly askew cake appear. To be honest it looked awful, didn’t seem like Oli had a cake ring or anything like that. The cake was tilted to the side with chocolate cream spilling out from the sides. But you could tell that he worked hard and it’s the thought that counts so I was still flattered.

“I know it looks awful. I don’t have a cake ring or any baking experience and I didn’t know what I was doing most of the time. I’m sorry. I should’ve just bought a cake for you, this is bullshit…” His anxiety started to take over again so I immediately set the cake to the side and got up, wrapping my arms around him.

“Hey, hey, calm down. You did great. I’m not sure if I was able to make a cake like that. And I honestly don’t care what it looks like as long as it tastes good. It’s nice that you thought of me and actually visited me even though it’s raining. So it’s all good, okay? I’m happy” I gave him a reassuring smile before leaning in, pecking him on the lips lightly. He smiled back before pulling me in for a real kiss, out lips moving together in perfect sync. We separated at the same time, Oli calmed down visibly.

“How about we go downstairs and make some hot chocolate and then eat this beautiful cake together while watching stupid movies and cuddling in bed?” I suggested and Oli just nodded, following me downstairs.

After a couple minutes we were back in bed together, culled up under my blanket, hot chocolate in one hand and a fork in the other. The chocolate cake was sat between us and 28 Days Later was playing. I had no clue why we picked that movie but I had nothing against watching a horror movie and cuddling up to Oli when I got scared.

Although it came to show that I didn’t need to cuddle up to Oli at all. Because we didn’t pay attention to the movie. Because we were making out. Heatedly. With him on top of me, straddling my hips and our hands roaming each other’s bodies. Oli’s lips left mine and I let out a small whine of disappointment that quickly turned into a moan as he started to suck and nip on my pulse point. His hands slipped under my shirt, thumbs rubbing over my hipbones softly. He wandered lower, sucking on my collarbones, probably leaving dark bruises everywhere. I didn’t care though because it was all just so hot and I could feel his hard on digging into my thigh, emitting a low groan from him as I rutted up my hips against his.

Just in that moment we heard a knock on my bedroom door. We quickly jumped away from each other, sitting on the bed with pillows in out laps as the door opened slowly and ma’s head popped in.

“Hey boys! Hope you had a nice day! Just wanted to inform you that we’re back and I’ll prepare dinner now. Oli will you stay or are you leaving?”

“I’ll stay if it isn’t too much of an issue for you” He answered after throwing a quick glance towards me.

“Course it’s not! I’ll call you down when it’s ready” With that she left, closing the door behind her. Only when she reached the bottom of the stairs did Oli and I dare to move again, throwing the pillows away from our laps.

“Wow, I can’t believe I just got cockblocked by my grandma” I groaned, throwing my head back against the headboard. Oli chuckled.

“C’mon it could be worse. Just imagine she walked in on us when we were getting at it. That would’ve been fucking awkward”

“Thanks for saying that. I think I’m scarred with mental images for the rest of my life now!”

He just laughed and shook his head slightly. “You’re such a dork, Josh. So how was your birthday? What did you get?”

I told him about my presents, his eyes lighting up when I mentioned getting a guitar.

“You got a guitar? Wow, that’s fucking rad!”

“It would be if I knew how to play”

“You don’t? Well, I mean, I can, so I could technically teach you. Only if you wanted, of course”

“You’re already hanging out with me pretty much every day so you might as well do something practical like teaching me how to play guitar” I winked at him.

“Oh, so I don’t do anything good?” An adorable pout appeared.

“Course you do. Just nothing practical” He still pouted. “Come on, stop pouting or I'll have to kiss it away”

“Maybe that’s my intention?”

I chuckled but still leaned forward, firmly pressing my lips to his.

“Are you going to spend the night?”

“Josh, I’m not gonna sleep with you when your grandparents are home”

“That’s not what I meant, asshole” I hit him playfully, laughing nonetheless.

“Then why do you ask such stupid questions? Of course I’m going to spend the night” He hit me back, pinning my arms down before I could hit him again. We stared into each other’s eyes, trying to read every little emotion swimming in them. His were full of warmth and lust and maybe even love. Yeah, definitely full of love. Dan never looked at me like that; his eyes were only ever swimming with desire and lust but never love. He didn’t love me just like I didn’t love him. We desired each other, lusting for the other's touch but we didn’t love. Oli however seemed to truly care about me. He loved me. He loved me for who I truly was, not for the mask I put on around my so-called ‘friends’. Thinking about it, the only real friend I ever had was Max. The others only liked me because of my social status. They didn’t care about me. The ones who really cared about me were Max and Oli. And my family, of course.

“Josh! Oli! Dinner is ready!” Leave it to my grandma to ruin a perfect moment once again. We tore ourselves out of our stare, Oli pressing a quick, chaste kiss to my lips before releasing my arms and getting off of me.

“Let’s go then,” He said, holding out his hand for me to take. I did, intertwining our fingers. And of course I didn’t fail to notice how perfectly our hands fit together.


	14. Tom.

The front door opened and closed, signaling that Oli was home. I decided that I was too lazy to get up and greet him, if he wanted to talk to me, he could call me.

“Hey Tom, get outta here!” Great, so he wanted to talk to me. I sighed, closing my laptop and getting up, traipsing to the kitchen where Oli and some brunette stranger were talking.

“Tom, this is Josh. Josh, this is my brother Tom” Oli introduced us. Josh held a hand out for me to shake which I chose to ignore.

“Is he the one who came over last weekend and stayed in my room?”

“Yes, I am” He answered, even though my question was directed at my brother.

“Good, cause you’re not staying there ever again” I shot him a dirty glare.

“Tom, we need to talk. Now” Oli grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the kitchen and into the living room.

“What the fuck’s gotten into you?! Why are you acting like a complete asshole towards Josh?!”

I knew my behavior was way off but that was still not a reason to yell at me. There was just something off about that Josh character, like I could sense something bad about him. I had felt it last week after I got back and his scent still hung in my room. It was something unsettling, like he had a big secret or something. I had a bad feeling about him. I voiced my thoughts but Oli just scoffed.

“He is the sweetest guy on earth, okay? He would never cheat or anything like that. And I really like him, so it would be nice if my little brother was a little less hostile. I never say anything against those sluts you bring home”

“Yeah, maybe that’s because they aren’t sluts that cheat on others like your little boyfriend does!”

“He’s not my boyfriend! And you don’t even know if he cheats or not! Which he doesn’t! Now stop being a little bitch and maybe try to be happy for your big brother because he finally found someone to make him happy!” With that he stormed off, back into the kitchen, probably to complain to that little boyfriend of his. I just rolled my eyes, going back to my room. I had some things to find out about this Josh.

~~~

The silence at the dinner table wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t awkward either. It was deadly. Both Oli and Josh were clearly uncomfortable, trying to comfort each other by holding hands underneath the table, while I just looked daggers at them. Well, more at Josh. It wasn’t even that he was unattractive, no, compared to all the other guys Oli brought home so far, he was pretty hot. Not that I would know, I was perfectly straight, but he was pretty good-looking. I could see why Oli liked him. And he was probably a really nice person, too. But I just hated him. You know, sometimes when you just hate somebody you just met, even though you don’t know a single thing about them and they never gave you a reason to hate them? Yeah, Josh was one of those people.

The silence went on the whole evening, through dinner, when we cleaned and when we sat on the couch, watching some random movie. Josh was cuddled up to Oli’s side, his head resting on his chest, Oli’s arm draped securely over Josh’s shoulder. They honestly looked really cute together, except that they were not. At least they were not supposed to be. Unfortunately my little afternoon Josh research didn’t bring any helpful results, mainly because I didn’t know his last name. I had been wrecking my brain to find anybody close to me who I could ask, but Josh was from London which is not exactly close to Sheffield, meaning I hardly knew anybody from there, and even if I did, they probably couldn’t help me. I would’ve asked my friend Dan, since he was from that area, but he was on vacation with his parents in Australia and I couldn’t get a hold of him over Skype or anything.

Sighing I got up, announcing that I was going to bed before leaving. I hadn’t even fully reached the hallway when I could already hear them making out. Ew, hopefully there wouldn’t be any sex tonight.

I went into my room, closing the door behind me before falling onto my bed. This was getting frustrating. I scrolled through the contact list on my phone for the umpteenth time. Suddenly my eyes landed on one name. _Matt Nicholls_. Of course, you fucking idiot! Matt was Oli’s best friend of all time, surely he’d know something about Josh, and if it was just his last name. Dumbass.

I clicked on his name, holding the device to my ear, letting it ring for a bit.

 _“Hey Tom, what’s up?”_ At least some people check the caller ID from time to time.

“Uh, I got a question. Well, maybe a couple” Suddenly I was really nervous, it was kinda weird to ask my brother’s best friend about my brother’s almost boyfriend. What if Matt told Oli? Then he’d just be upset again and yell at me and then I’ll yell back and then we’ll fight again and I didn’t want that. Oli was my only family and I hated fighting with him.

_“Okay then. Fire away!”_

“So, Oli and Josh are here right now and I just wanted to know what you know about him. Josh, I mean” I started to chew on my thumbnail, a nervous habit I had picked up over the years.

 _“Why don’t you go and talk to him instead of me?”_ I was afraid that this question would come.

“Because I don’t like him!”

_“You sound like a four-year old!”_

“I know! Still, though. I don’t have a good feeling about him but Oli won’t believe me”

_“Maybe that’s because you’re just jealous because Oli is in a happy almost relationship right now and you aren’t?”_

“Definitely not! Listen Matt, you just have to give me his last name and I’d be completely happy”

_“Ah, whatever. His name’s Josh Franceschi. F-r-a-n-c-e-s-c-h-i. He’s from London, but you probably knew that. Uh, he’s spending his summer break at his grandparents’. Yeah, I don’t know what else to tell you, that’s pretty much it”_

“Oh no, that’s good. Thanks a lot! Maybe I can go and salve my conscience now”

_“You should do that. Oli’s probably pretty upset”_

“Yeah, speaking of Oli, please don’t tell him about our little talk. He’ll just get mad and yell at me which would end in a big fight and I don’t want that”

_“Sure, no problem. Glad I could help. See you later”_

“Yep. Bye” We hung up and I tossed my phone to the side, quickly grabbing my laptop to start my next big research again.

A good hour later I finally found something. Weirdly enough that it took me that long, there weren’t even that many Josh Franceschis in England. Problem was that you couldn’t find him on Google, like at all, so it all took me a while longer. Until I finally got the great idea to just try Facebook. Sometimes my brain definitely has its moments. Nevertheless, I found him.

His profile picture was pretty normal looking, him in front of the Big Ben on a nice and sunny day in London. A certain Max Helyer was tagged, I guess he took the picture. I clicked through his other pictures, they all looked like typical teenager Facebook pictures: hanging out with friends, a couple awkward selfies in front of the bathroom mirror or a webcam, some at school and some at random parties, although he never had a single drink in his hand. Clever. Look through my pictures and you’ll see I’m not that smart. And then I finally found it. A picture of him and a blond guy, his arm slung over the other guy’s shoulder while the blond pressed a kiss to his cheek. It was uploaded on the 10th of July 2013. A little more than a month ago. So he did have a boyfriend then. At least that was what it looked like, boys usually don’t take pictures with other guys kissing their cheek when they’re single. I looked a little closer, the blond seemed strangely familiar.

I exited the pictures section and checked out his personal information. Living in London. Having a sister, Elissa Franceschi. I looked at her profile quickly, she was five years older than him and lived in Germany where she was married to a Benjamin Hubert. Back to Josh’s profile. Apparently he went to South Hampstead High School. Hey cool, Dan went there, too. I scrolled down a little and oh. Oh. _In a relationship with Dan Flint_. So I was right. And hold on, but Dan Flint? I clicked on the link and got to his profile, his profile picture being the cutesy couple picture Josh also had. And that was definitely the Dan I also knew, the Dan that was in Australia at the moment. I checked out his pictures and oh. Oh. There were images of him with another guy. And they were definitely more than just friends. If you didn’t see it from the first few pictures you definitely saw it from the one where the two of them were kissing. Okay, recap. So Josh and Dan (who I was friends with) were dating. Dan was cheating on Josh with some Australian boy and Josh was cheating on Dan with my brother. And poor little Oli was caught in between, fooled by Josh’s lies and determined to get hurt in the end. And the biggest problem was: I knew it all but couldn’t do anything about it. Because Oli wouldn’t believe me and Josh would deny everything.

Fuck my life.

~~~

It was four in the morning and I was still awake. My little research had ended about an hour ago, keeping my mind busy the whole time and not letting sleep overtake me. No matter how I twisted and turned it, there was no smart way to tell Oli and definitely no convincing way either. It would always sound stupid and he would never believe me. Fuck it!

I got up to go and get a drink, silently opening my bedroom door and tip toeing through the hallway, being as quiet as possible. I didn’t want to wake my brother or Josh. I flicked on the kitchen light, getting a glass of water and leaning against the counter while drinking it. Shortly after I could hear a door open and close, footsteps signaling that someone was approaching the kitchen. Luckily it turned out to be my brother.

“Hey. Can’t sleep either?” He came over, ruffling my hair while getting a glass of water for himself.

“Nope. Is Josh keeping you up?” I asked casually, winking at him. Of course I didn’t fail to notice how his cheeks turned red.

“Hush. We haven’t even done anything like that yet”

“Oh, you’re gonna wait ‘til you get married?”

He hit me. “No, dumbass. I’m gonna wait ‘til I asked him out”

“Really? Why?”

“Because I don’t just sleep with random people” I couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped at his response.

“Haha, good one, mate. I’m your brother, I’ve seen you sleep with tons of people and you didn’t even know some of them for more than an hour, so don’t even try to tell me you don’t sleep with random people”

“Yeah, whatever. Josh’s different though. I want us to work, y’know? He means a lot to me” Hearing that actually broke my heart. Oli seemed to truly like Josh and that asshole just went and broke his heart. Well, technically he hadn’t. At least not yet. But the truth would come out eventually.

“Uh, yeah, about that…there are some things you should probably know about him…” I nervously twiddled my thumbs. Oli sighed.

“You’re starting with that again?”

“Look, I did some research and there’s something really off about Josh…”

“Tom, I don’t care what your fucking gut tells you! Can’t you just be happy for me?! For once?!” Of course he started to yell. Well, whisper-yell because it was still the middle of the night and there were still other people in this apartment that wanted to sleep and shouldn’t necessarily overhear our conversation.

“Oli, that’s not even what this is about! He is fucking cheating on you. Or well, he’s cheating on his boyfriend with you…anyway, he has a fucking boyfriend! I know that guy, Dan Flint. They’ve been dating for like two months now. He’s just playing you!”

“Oh come on, cut that bullshit! I actually thought I could count on my little brother relationship wise and that you would support me!”

“That’s exactly what I do, don’t you see that?! I’m just trying to protect you from getting your heart broken, we both know how unstable you are!”

“Oh, so now I’m unstable?! Ever since I met Josh I was the most stable I have ever been! He’s the one that keeps me sane, not you! So I would really appreciate it if you’d stop trying to break us apart!” Ouch, that hurt.

“Oh, you know what? Fuck you! Go and ask that little shit out and play happy couple with him! Go and ignore how he sleeps around behind your back! Go and fuck him! Do whatever the fuck you want! I don’t give a single shit! But if he hurts you, if he breaks you, if he rips your fucking heart out of your chest, don’t bother and come to me for comfort. Don’t even think about crying your heart out while I hold you, like I did so many times before! Because I am fucking done with you not trusting me and treating me like a little child that’s too stupid to understand love! I’ve had enough! You think you’re unstable because you’re the one that’s depressed after the accident?! Surprise motherfucker, you are not! Can you even slightly imagine how it was for me?! I was sixteen when I had to watch my parents die in a hospital room, all by myself because my pussy of a big brother couldn’t handle seeing them. I was sixteen when my big brother, who was supposed to care for me, didn’t go to work for months because he rather spent his time in a bathroom, slicing his wrists until he passed out. Can you even comprehend how scared I was?! How afraid I was of losing you, too, the last piece of family left for me? How scared I still am that you might relapse and actually kill yourself?! You can’t, because you are a selfish little twat! You think Josh is good for you and keeps you sane? Fine, then stay with him! But don’t you dare crawling back to me when it turns out that he is everything but!”

With that I pushed past him, storming down the hall and slamming my door shut.

~~~

It had been a week since our big fight. Josh hadn’t been here since. And Oli and I hadn’t talked to each other the whole time. Okay, we talked a little but only because we lived together and you kinda have to talk at some point. But it was only about essential things like ‘dinner is ready’ and stuff like that. It had been awfully quiet. And I missed my brother. I knew he wanted me to apologize but I wasn’t sorry for anything I said. It was the truth after all.

I lied on the living room couch, watching some movie, I think it was Batman or something, I didn’t really pay attention. My thoughts were still running around Josh. Wow, that sounded really gay. Not that I had anything against gays, I mean, my brother was half gay. Anyway, I couldn’t stop thinking about Josh and his _boyfriend_ Dan. I felt like I should confront him, ask him when he planned to break up with Dan and when he wanted to tell Oli about it. I wanted to tell him that Dan was cheating on him, so maybe he’d have more reasons to break up with him. On the other hand, I hadn’t been necessarily nice to him, so why would he believe me? I was just the stupid little brother that wanted to destroy their relationship.

Groaning I got up, retrieving Oli’s phone from the kitchen table where he left it before he went out with Matt. I walked into my room and locked the door behind me so Oli couldn’t come in when he came back. Lying down on my bed I clicked on Josh’s number, my finger lingering over the call button for a few seconds before I finally hit it. He picked up after the second ring.

_“Hey Oli, what’s up?”_

I awkwardly cleared my throat. “Uh, yeah this isn’t Oli. This is Tom”

 _“Oh. Hi”_ The disappointment was very much audible.

“Uhm, I need to talk to you. About Dan”

_“Oh shit. How did you know?”_

“Facebook, Josh. It’s not hard to figure out” A sarcastic chuckle escaped my throat before I could hold it back.

 _“Oh. Are you going to tell Oli?”_ He actually sounded afraid, his voice really small, his cocky attitude completely gone. He really seemed to care about my brother.

“I already did”

_“What did he say?”_

“He doesn’t believe me”

_“Wow. I should probably be happy about that”_

“You’re not?”

_“No”_

“Why not?” I was confused.

_“Now it’ll just hurt more when I tell him. Because he’ll know that you were right all along. Fuck”_

“Are you going to break up with Dan?”

 _“Yes. But I wanted to wait until he was back from his trip; I only do breakups in person”_ Well, at least he had some manners.

 _“Ah fuck, this is gonna suck”_ I could picture him lying or sitting on his bed, rubbing his face with one hand. Strange, I didn’t even know him that well.

“Dan’s cheating on you” It came out as a whisper. Shit, I didn’t even want to say that. It was supposed to be a thought.

_“He is?”_

I swallowed thickly. “Yeah. There are like tons of pictures of him and some Australian guy”

_“He has family down there, it might be his cousin”_

“Sure, if he’s one to make out with his cousins”

_“Oh”_

“Yeah”

_“Uh, well, I have to think. Uhm, thanks for telling me all of this. And I’m sorry for hurting your brother”_

“You didn’t do anything”

_“Yeah, but I probably will”_


	15. Josh.

„Hey Josh, get down here! There’s someone at the door for you!” Ma’s voice echoed through the house.

Groaning I left my bed, still only wearing boxers because it was Sunday and I had nothing to do besides lying in bed and watching TV, so why get dressed? I padded downstairs, seeing my grandma standing in the doorway, talking to whoever was outside.

“I’m here, what’s up?”

Ma looked at me disapprovingly. “You might need to wait a little bit, Josh isn’t even dressed yet,” She said to the person outside.

I just rolled my eyes, stepping over so that I stood next to her. Of course it was Oli standing in front of me when I was basically naked.

“Nice outfit, Josh” He smirked at me while blatantly checking me out.

“Thanks. Only for you, babe” I had no idea where that nickname suddenly came from, it slipped out before I could stop it. Oli chose to ignore it though.

“So, I guess you’re free today? Because I might or might not have something fun planned for us”

“Yeah, let me just get dressed”

“Well, I wasn’t going to take you looking like this, not that I don’t enjoy seeing you walking around basically naked and holy shit you have a really nice ass but I don’t think the people outside have the same appreciation for your body that I have,” Oli said while we both walked up to my room. Luckily I was in front of him so he didn’t see my cheeks burning red from his words.

“Where are we even going?” I asked as soon as we entered my room.

“Sorry, but that’s a surprise”

“Okay and what should I wear?”

“Oh. Uh, just normal stuff like a shirt and some pants. We’re not gonna do anything too fancy”

I quickly pulled out a plain V-neck and my favorite pair of black skinnies, putting both on and looking at myself in the mirror. Oli laughed.

“Josh, you look perfectly fine”

“No, I don’t. My hair’s a mess” I frowned at my reflection, playing with my hair to make it look different.

“Your hair’s always a mess”

I glared at Oli through the mirror which just made him laugh more. He got up and came over to me, slinging his arms around my waist from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.

“C’mon, your hair is beautiful, just like you” He pressed a quick kiss to my neck, “And now let’s go. We have like an hour to drive”

He spun me around, kissing me lightly before grabbing my hand and leading me downstairs and out the door.

“Wait, I didn’t get any money or anything”

“You won’t need any money or anything. Today’s on me”

Could he get any more perfect?

~~~

“Oliii, why won’t you tell me where we’re going?” I honestly sounded like a three-year old and I acted like one as well, asking that very question over and over.

“Joosh, because that’s the purpose of a surprise, dumbass. Now shut up and quit being annoying or I’m gonna turn around and go back to your house. We’re almost there”

I crossed my arms and looked out of the window, a huge pout on my face.

“And stop pouting or I won’t buy you any candy,” Oli chuckled at my childishness.

“I’m getting candy?” I swear to God, I’m actually a four-year old trapped in the body of an eighteen-year old.

“Yes, if you behave. By the way, if you look to your right you’ll know where we’re heading”

I did as I was told, spotting a huge Ferris wheel, surrounded by other rides.

“Oh my god, you’re taking me to the fair?!” I’ve never been to the Sheffield fair and it was supposed to be really awesome, so naturally I was excited.

“Looks like it” Oli smiled at me, receiving a huge grin in return.

“You are so fucking awesome!” If we weren’t sitting in a car at the moment I would’ve totally jumped at him and hugged and kissed him. Instead I just jumped up and down in my seat, going to the fair or any other kind of amusement park was my favorite thing to do besides going to concerts.

Oli finally pulled into the parking lot, finding a spot relatively close to the entrance. As soon as the car stopped I got out, impatiently jumping around in one spot, waiting for Oli to finally get ready. He just rolled his eyes at me while going over to the booth next to the entrance, me hard on his heels.

“Hello, what can I do for you?” The girl at the booth said, smiling at Oli. Jealousy ran through my veins, she was so totally checking him out, even biting her lip while she eyed his body up and down like a piece of meat. I quickly grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers, trying to make a point.

“Two tickets for the fair, rides included, please”

“That’d be £15”

Oli pulled his hand away to retrieve his wallet, handing the money over to the girl. She was pretty hot, I had to admit, blonde hair, bright blue eyes, skinny and nice tits, but Oli was mine and no, she couldn’t have him. I saw her scribble something on one of the tickets before handing them out. I took them quickly before Oli could, taking his hand once again and leading him away. I looked at the tickets, giving Oli the one that didn’t have the girl’s number and name written onto it. Sara was a stupid name anyways.

“So what do you want to do first?” Oli looked at me expectantly. I looked around checking out the different attractions and rides, trying to figure out which were the most interesting and which I wanted to do.

“Let’s do the rollercoasters” With that I grabbed Oli’s hand once again, pulling him over to the first rollercoaster in my sight.

~~~

We sat on a bench, each of us with cotton candy, a huge teddy bear in my arm that Oli had won for me. The sky gradually got darker but we didn’t care. Today had been amazing. We tried every single ride (except for the Ferris wheel, Oli wanted to keep that last) and ate a whole lot of junk food. In other words, it was the perfect date. Dan never did anything like that for me. Speaking of Dan, I had still had to tell Oli about him. I felt extremely guilty for not saying anything in the first place, like, directly after we got closer, but I was too afraid that Oli might turn his back on me if he knew I wasn’t single. It was just a really fucked up situation, especially since Tom knew about it. Well, Oli did, too, but he decided not to believe his little brother. He should though.

“Hey Josh, can I ask you something?” Oli had his head turned towards me, facing me, waiting for a response. I hated when people started like that, I always expected the worst.

“Uh, sure”

“Did you ever cheat on anybody?” Of course he was referring to Dan. And of course it would be a lie if I said no and of course I wouldn’t ever do that. At least not under normal circumstances. Because I’m not an idiot and I don’t want to hurt the people I love. So naturally my answer would be yes. Would be.

“No” Here goes to me being honest.

“Good. Wanna go to the Ferris wheel now?”

“Yes”

We got up, making our way over to the giant wheel, fingers intertwined. There weren’t many people there, the families with kids had already left and most people went to the Ferris wheel during the day and rode rollercoasters now. So we even got our very own gondola.

I was glad that we waited until it was dark because Sheffield just looked beautiful at night with all its lights and stuff. It was amazing. When we were at the highest point the wheel stopped, letting us enjoy the view. At that moment Oli grabbed both of my hands, making me look at him.

“I have to ask you a very important question” He said while staring into my eyes. Ugh, another one of those questions.

“O-okay” I had no idea why I suddenly got so nervous. A lump began to form in my throat, making it hard to swallow. I nervously bit my lip.

“Uh, okay, so this might come a little sudden and I would understand if you said no, but…I really like you. Like, a lot. So, uh...I feel kinda stupid…but will you be my boyfriend?”

Oh, holy shit. I didn’t expect that at all. I looked at Oli, studying his features. I noticed that his hands were slightly sweating and he was biting the inside of his cheek, both signs of his nervousness. I swallowed thickly. I couldn’t just say yes. I was still with Dan. On the other hand, there were fucking volcanoes erupting in my stomach and it was really hard to keep the huge smile off my face. For the first time in months I was truly happy. And I wanted to stay like that, so I decided to completely ignore the sane part of me yelling at me to say no and listened to my heart instead.

“Yes, I would love to” A gigantic grin spread across Oli’s face, mine looking exactly the same. He didn’t even say anything else, just leaned in to connect our lips in a kiss that was neither feverish nor lust filled. It was just perfect, saying everything we couldn’t put into words. Before it could turn into a full on make out session the wheel turned again, bringing us back down, the door opening and a guy asking us to exit the gondola. We did, hand in hand, going to the car and driving back home.

~~~

Oli had decided that I would spend the night at his apartment. That’s why we were sitting on his couch, the TV running although neither of us paid attention.

“Today was perfect” I said, turning my head to the right to look at Oli.

“Hm. I know a way to make it even more perfect” He had this mischievous glint in his eyes while saying that, making his words go straight to my cock. Fuck, I had an extremely hot boyfriend. It still felt weird to call him that.

Oli leant over, pressing his lips to mine while climbing into my lap so that he straddled my thighs. His hands flew up to my neck, tangling in my hair and pulling it lightly, emitting a moan from me. He immediately took the chance to push his tongue in, letting our tongues tangle. We weren’t even fighting for dominance, it was completely equal. His hands left my neck to wander lower, down my torso to the hem of my shirt, pushing it up. I got the hint and pulled away to take it off. As soon as the shirt was thrown off somewhere his lips were back, sucking on my neck, his teeth biting on my pulse point, surely leaving a trail of hickeys as he went down to my collarbone, starting to work on a bruise. My head fell back, subconsciously giving him more space, my lips parted, small pants and moans escaping as Oli went lower and lower, down my torso to the hem of my jeans.

His eyes locked with mine as he unbuttoned and unzipped them with his fucking teeth (like, seriously, could he get any hotter), pulling them down my legs. I lifted my hips a little to help him, kicking them of when they were at my ankles.

“Oh, shit!” I couldn’t stop the deep groan coming out when Oli mouthed at my very obvious boner through the thin material of my boxers, hooking his thumbs under the hem and pulling them off as well. He looked at my length, licking his lips as if it was something to eat, before running his tongue up the underside of my shaft, caressing the protruding vein. His lips engulfed the sensitive head when he reached the top, tongue swirling around it while he lightly sucked on it. The moans and curses were now flowing out of my mouth, only increasing in volume when he finally took my dick into his mouth, his head bobbing up and down while his teeth scraped the back of it ever so often.

“F-fuck, Oli, like that, oh m-my god, you’re w-way too good at this…” He hummed around me, sending delicious vibrations around my cock, making me moan even louder. His head went up and down faster, making my hips rut up into his mouth. I swear to God, this boy has no gag reflex whatsoever.

“Shit, I’m cl-close…” I managed to stutter out, assuming that Oli would pull off. If anything it just made him go faster, paying extra attention to the head, sucking on it and tonguing the slit. It took me about five seconds to come, feeling Oli swallow around me before pulling off with a quiet ‘pop’. He licked his lips before coming back up, giving me another kiss. I could still taste myself on him.

“Ready for round two?”

I just nodded, not trusting my voice at all. He got up, reaching his hand out for me to take. I did, letting him lead me to his bedroom. Only now did I notice that he was still fully clothed.


	16. Josh.

Oli’s back hit the bedroom door as soon as it was closed, my lips attached to his in a hungry kiss that was more teeth than tongue or lips for that matter. Before I even knew what was going on, Oli had us turned around, me backed up against the wall, trapped between the rendering of the wall and his body, his very obvious boner digging into my thigh. I rutted my hips up, eliciting those delicious noises once again, sounding like a mix between a deep, throaty groan and a high pitched moan, music to my ears. In response Oli grabbed my wrists and pinned them up over my head, nipping along my jawline over to my ear, biting and sucking on the lobe while simultaneously pushing his thigh between my legs. He was still fully clothed while I was completely naked and yeah, that definitely had to change.

I managed to break free from his grasp, my hands immediately flying down to his hips where I grabbed the hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head, throwing it off to my right. I switched us around again, kissing Oli fiercely while running my hands up and down his sides, coming closer to the hem of his jeans every time. His hands wandered down my back, raising goose bumps as he travelled down my spine, gripping my ass tightly and pushing our hips closer together. I started to get a little impatient, so I let my hand slip into his jeans, palming him through his boxers, trying to unbutton his pants with one hand. When they were finally open, Oli pushed them down his legs, kicking them off. I slipped my hand past the hem of his boxers, stroking his length slowly. Moans and curses spilled from his mouth, his dick finally getting the attention it needed.

“Oh, fuck, Josh…” He panted, fingernails raking down my back, probably leaving deep scratches behind.

“What do you want, baby?” I whispered into his ear, emitting another moan when I sucked his earlobe into my mouth.

“Suck my dick, slut!” With that he grabbed a handful of my hair, pushing me down to my knees so that my eyes were on one level with his cock. I didn’t even have his boxers pulled down completely when my face was shoved forward. I opened my mouth obediently, engulfing his head with my lips, starting to bob my head up and down his length. He was way larger than I thought, making it impossible for me to fit him in my mouth, so that I had to work the part I couldn’t fit with my hand. Oli’s fingers tangled in my hair, pulling on the long strands, making me moan. The vibrations made him buck his hips involuntarily, almost chocking me in the process. I pulled off, trying to regain my breath when Oli grabbed me again and brought me back up, kissing me forcefully.

Even though everything was kinda rough at the moment (not that I was complaining, I liked it rough) I didn’t fail to notice how different it was from all the times I was with Dan. Despite all the yanking and pulling and grabbing and fighting and dominating Oli was still gentle, his hands running lovingly along my skin, raising goose bumps in the process, right along dark red scratches. His tongue caressed mine although he bit my lip until it bled, his lips easily soothed the dark bite marks he left along my neck and chest, his hands calming the red flesh of my ass from where he hit me earlier. Dan on the other hand had always been rough, biting and scratching whenever I fucked him. There was nothing remotely affectionate in anything he did for me, which was basically just sex because we didn’t do anything else besides fucking.

Before I knew what was happening the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed, causing me to fall backwards, landing with a soft thud. I crawled up the bed until I reached the headboard, resting my head on the pillow. Oli towered over me, his eyes wandering up and down my body, taking in my appearance: A sheen of sweat covering my body, making me glisten in the dim light, my hair tousled and stuck to my forehead, pupils dilated and darkened with lust. He looked exactly the same.

“Fuck Josh, you are so perfect” He breathed out before leaning down, attaching his lips to mine. It was a totally different kiss, not as rough and fierce as the ones we previously shared but soft and caste. I wound my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer while trying to deepen the kiss. I let him enter willingly when he licked along my lower lip, feeling his tongue soothing around my mouth. There was no fight for dominance, just love. Wow, that sounded really sappy and if I wasn’t kissing Oli I might have thrown up for even thinking something like that, but that’s exactly what it was. Love. In that moment I realized that I was in love with Oliver Scott Sykes and that he was in love with me.

Before I could waste another thought his lips left mine once again, wandering down my chest, tongue flicking against my perked nipple while he thumbed the other one. I moaned and arched up into his touch. I could feel him smirk against my skin, pleased with the way I was responding and that he was the one who made me feel that way. He went lower, leaving a wet trail down my stomach, biting down harshly on my hipbone, making me keen from the pain that was way too good to be legal. Needless to say that I was hard as a rock, my cock begging for some kind of friction.

“Shit, Oli please…”

“What do you want, babe?” He asked, his voice deep and scratchy from lust.

“O-oh my god, please, just do something” That little twat kept kissing along my hipbones, along invisible lines, purposely avoiding my dick. He chuckled darkly.

“I think you need to be a little more precise” I swear to god, if I didn’t want him to fuck me senseless right now I would have so totally punched him for being such an asshole.

“Come on, please, I don’t know, touch me, finger me, fuck me, just please, do something” Normally I’d be completely embarrassed by now, I was never one to beg and honestly, I never thought it would ever happen.

“You want me to fuck you? Want this thick, nice cock inside of you? Wanna feel my cum inside of you? Is that what you want, you filthy bitch?”

If I wasn’t turned on before, I definitely was now because fuck, was there anything hotter than Oli’s dirty talk??

“Yes, yes, please, I need you”

“Such a greedy little bitch” He said, slapping the inside of my thigh. I just let out a needy moan, spreading my legs a little wider to show him that I was being serious. Oli let out another chuckle, grabbing a bottle of lube from the bedside table.

I heard a crack and a squirting noise before one of Oli’s long fingers prodded at my entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscles. My face contorted in discomfort, teeth biting down hard on my lower lip. Fuck, that really hurt. I hadn’t been fucked in years and was definitely not used to it.

“You okay?” Oli asked worriedly.

“Y-yeah, just hurts a little”

“Just relax, baby, it’ll get better” He started to kiss along my jaw, leaving tiny, feather light kisses while simultaneously stroking my dick slowly, trying to distract me from the pain as he added another finger. He moved them in and out slowly, scissoring them from time to time to stretch me properly. Only when he added the third finger did he start to look for my prostate, curling the three digits experimentally, switching angles.

“Shit, fuck, right there, holy fuck, don’t stop!” My screaming was unnaturally loud in the otherwise quiet room. Oli just smirked against my lips, withdrawing his finger to which a small disappointed whimper left my parted lips.

“Patience is a virtue, babe” I had no idea where all the nicknames suddenly came from, but I definitely wasn’t going to complain.

“Don’t be such a smartass”

Oli just laughed, grabbing the lube once again, lubing himself up.

“You ready?” He asked when he lined himself up, looking deeply into my eyes.

I just nodded, trying to look as convinced and positive as possible.

“Are you sure?” It was actually pretty cute how concerned he was.

“Yes, Oli, oh my god, get in me” I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed my heels into his lower back to show that I was serious.

He began to push in slowly, inch by inch, trying to hurt me as little as possible. It still did though, making tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

“’M sorry, just relax, it’ll get better” Oli whispered soothingly between small kisses. I just nodded; I knew it got better, not like this was my first time.

Oli stopped all his movements as soon as he was all the way in. He hovered over me, chests pressed flush together, faces only millimeters apart. He stared into my eyes as if he was looking for something, what it was, I didn’t know.

“You can move now” I said softly after a few minutes of adjusting and letting the pain fade.

He started out with slow, hollow thrusts, making me scream when he grazed my prostate again.

“Oh fuck, right there, harder, please!” I pushed back against him, burying his cock deeper inside of me while raking my nails down his back, surely leaving marks.

His thrusts became harder and more determined, aiming for that sweet hotspot and hitting it every time. I was writhing underneath him, hands desperately searching for something to hold on to, Oli’s neck, his shoulders, his back, the pillow, the sheets. My knuckles turned white from the pressure while my lower lip turned red from the blood because I was biting too hard. I couldn’t help it, there was just so much going on, Oli’s cock thrusting in and out of me, the pressure on my prostate, making me see stars and blacking out from the sheer pleasure I felt, Oli’s moans and pants and deep groans, driving me wild because I was the one who made him feel that way, his hands raking up and down my body or simply holding onto my hips, leaving bruises and crescent marks from his fingernails.

“Fuck, Josh, you’re so fucking tight…” Oli managed to pant out.

He was close, I could feel it, his thrusts became sloppier, not hitting my prostate all the time. I couldn’t say anything different for myself though, the tightening in my stomach was just getting worse with each thrust.

“O-Oli, I’m s-so close…” I had no idea how I was even able to form coherent sentences at the moment, my mind was a complete mess, not able to form a single intelligible thought. Oli took a hold of my dick, jerking me off lazily, trying to match his movements as well as possible.

“C’mon, Joshie, cum for me, baby” He whispered into my ear and that was about it, I totally lost it, coming in hot white streaks across our stomachs and chests with a long drawn out moan of Oli’s name. I purposely contracted my muscles around him, making him cum as well deep inside of me.

He collapsed on top of me, catching his breath, panting in the crook of my neck. After a few minutes he rolled off of me, falling onto the bed with a soft thud. We simultaneously looked at each other, huge smiles on our faces.

“Well, that was quite amazing” He grinned at me, rolling over to his side to properly look at me.

“Hm, definitely the best sex I’ve had in ages” That wasn’t even a lie, nothing I ever did with Dan could top this.

“I’m glad! You were pretty good, too” He winked at me.

“Haha, very funny, asshole” I crossed my arms and turned my back to him, acting as if I was hurt.

“Aw, don’t be mad at me, baby” Oli came closer, wrapping his arms around me and leaving tiny kisses on my neck. A small smile appeared on my face and I turned around in his arms, placing my hands on his neck and pulling him in for a real kiss.

I snuggled up into him, lying my head down onto his shoulder, my arm draped over his sweaty chest. There was dried cum all over our torsos, but we didn’t care. It just gave us a reason to shower together in the morning. Oli pulled up the blanket and put an arm around my shoulder, making me feel safe. He kissing my forehead was the last thing I remembered before drifting off to sleep.


	17. Josh.

I was greeted by my grandparents sitting in the living room, watching TV when I entered the house the next day. I was a little unwilling to leave Oli but he had stuff to do. And we already spent yesterday and the whole night together. Which was awesome. I’ve never had sex like that in my whole entire life, especially not twice. Yeah, Oli and I showered together this morning and had sex again. Me pushed up against the cold, tiled wall and him fucking me, hitting my sweet spot dead-on every single time.

“Hi Josh, did you have fun last night?” Ma’s voice tore me out of my little flashback. I hadn’t even noticed that I entered the living room.

“Uh, yeah, it was nice.”

“Just nice? Huh, I thought Oli would be better in bed.” I choked on my spit, doubling over in a coughing fit.

“W-what? Why would you think we had sex?” I stared at her, eyes opened wide in surprise.

“C’mon Josh, those hickeys aren’t hard to miss.”

My hands flew up to my neck, trying to cover the dark blotches. My neck wasn’t the only part covered in bruises, they were also littered all over my chest, on my collarbones, hipbones, and even on the inside of my thighs. Yeah, Oli did a good job at marking me.

“Uhm, yeah, well, the sex was amazing, thanks for asking. I’m gonna go upstairs now.” I turned around as fast as possible, making a run for the stairs to escape the awkward tension downstairs. Damn you , Oli, I really didn’t need my grandparents to know anything about our sex life or that we even [i]had[/i] sex for that matter.

~~~

We were sitting together in the living room at night when my grandparents broke the unpleasant news to me.

“Joshua, you do realize that there are only three days left until you leave, right?” Pa didn’t even look up from the paper he was reading when he said that. I stared at him, dumbfounded. I totally forgot about the fact that I actually lived in London and that school was about to start in a week and that, in fact, I had to leave in three days.

“Uh, yeah, I knew that.” Lie.

“Alright, just wanted to remind you so you can say goodbye to Oliver.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Are you still with Dan?” Ma suddenly spoke up. I swallowed thickly, luckily neither of them noticed.

“Uhm, no. Why?” More lies.

“Oh, just checking. I don’t want you to cheat on anybody and hurt someone.”

“Sure. I’d never.” Lies, lies, lies. “I’m gonna go to bed now.” I got up and left, walking up to my room and lying down on my bed after closing the door. I retrieved my phone from the nightstand where it had been charging, deciding to text Oli.

**Hey babe, what’s up?**

His reply came within seconds: _Not much, just chilling in Sheffield with Tom._

**So you two get along again?**

_We do. Luckily, the whole cold shoulder thing started to get on my nerves._

**I can imagine. Uhm, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be leaving in three days.**

_Oh. Well that sucks. I’m busy with college stuff right now, since school starts soon, so I won’t be able to see you again. Sorry, love :(_

Wow, that was more upsetting than I would’ve thought. Thinking about not seeing Oli again before I left actually made me wanna cry. Which was also new to me, all this attachment and not wanting to leave somebody and all those emotions and it really  
sucked but it also felt nice. I sound like a girl on her period.

**]No problem, ‘s not your fault. I’m gonna miss you though :(**

_I’ll miss you, too. But we’ll text and talk on the phone and visit each other, alright? We can make this work :) Gtg now, talk to you later. Good night, love xx_

I smiled at his text, deciding against a reply. I wouldn’t have known what to answer anyways. Or it would’ve just made me wanna cry more. Either one was bad.

~~~

Three days later I stood on the platform at the small train station again, duffle bag slung across my shoulder, backpack between my feet on the bottom. Ma and pa stood next to me, waiting for the train to arrive. I honestly couldn’t wait to be back home, I couldn’t stand being in this town any longer, especially since Oli was gone  
now. And I really wanted to see Max again.

Finally the train came in sight. I picked up my stuff, ready to board the train as it came to a squeaky halt in front of me. My grandparents and I had already said our goodbyes, I was good to go. Just as I was about to set my foot on the train I heard someone shout my name.

“Josh! Josh, wait!”

I turned around, confused, who would even be here to see me off? A tall, skinny guy came running towards me and it took me an awfully long time to recognize him as Oli. I immediately dropped my bags, embracing him in a tight hug when he reached me. His arms slung around my neck, pressing my body into his. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent, still not entirely sure if this was actually happening or if I was just imagining things. He pulled away far too quickly but only to pull me in again, crushing our lips together. And even though I knew this would be out last kiss for a long time, it was the best I’ve ever had, as cliché as that might sound.

“I thought you couldn’t come,” I whispered when we separated, faces still only inches apart.

“Well, I made some arrangements. You really thought I’d let you go without saying goodbye?” I nodded, feeling a little stupid now. Of course he wouldn’t let me go like this.

“Then you’re stupider than I thought. I love you.” He kissed my nose, staring into my eyes. That was it. The moment. Like, _the moment._ A grin appeared on my face.

“I love you, too.” Of course I’ve said these words multiple times before, but I never meant them as much as I did now.

The train whistle blew, signaling that it was time to leave and that I should really get on. I pressed another quick kiss to Oli’s lips before picking up my stuff and boarding the train. Only when I couldn’t see them anymore did I step back from the door and stopped waving, finally turning around to look for a seat. After finding one I sat down and sighed. I pulled my iPod out of my backpack and started listening to Pierce the Veil while staring out of the window. The summer away from home wasn’t that bad after all.


End file.
